Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Health

Intimate Connection Is the Center of the Wheel

Tending to the center brings massive rewards.

Key points

  • Our attitude can be one of optimism.
  • We can feel strong enough to take risks.
  • We can feel an exhilarating sense of freedom.
dimitrisvetsikas1969/pixabay
Source: dimitrisvetsikas1969/pixabay

Linda: When we appreciate the importance of our romantic partnership, we can see that it is the center of the wheel. The spokes of the wheel are our family (children and extended family), career, work, friendships, home, physical health (diet, fitness, exercise, weight loss and gain), emotional health and healing, rest and relaxation, spirituality (prayer, meditation, worship, and devotional practice), learning (formal and informal), sexuality, play, recreation, creative expression (art, music, movement, writing), money and finances, purpose, service, and contribution.

All these spokes move in concert with the center. If the center is cracked, the efficiency of the wheel is compromised. If any of the spokes have broken parts, that compromises our movement as well, but it is the hub that has the greatest significance. Having a strong center is required for a life that can turn and flow along the path of our life gracefully. It is the crack in the wheel that leaves us feeling distant and unconnected. It is the issues that have not yet been adequately addressed that hold back our progress. Once these difficulties that are hampering our progress through life are tended to, we can move forward into a rich, joy-filled existence. Here are some of the characteristics of a life that has a strong partnership at its center:

  • Our attitude is one of optimism.
  • We feel strong enough to take risks.
  • We see life as being filled with opportunities for adventure and play.
  • We are open to the beauty of nature all around us.
  • We feel strong and powerful, filled with energy sufficient to meet life’s challenges.
  • We feel free to be our true selves.
  • We attract soul-nourishing friendships because others see what we have to offer.
  • We feel an exhilarating sense of freedom.
  • We are no longer encumbered with a sense of seriousness and heaviness and now feel light and buoyant.
  • We find ourselves laughing more and so glad of heart we may even break out into song.
  • We feel fully alive in our body—sexy, attractive, and full of juice.
  • We are inspired to participate in creative expression.
  • We have clarity about our unique gifts to give to our community and enjoy contributing those gifts to others.
  • We’re so filled with love to overflowing that we have plenty to give away to others.
  • We live with a sense of peace that we are living the life we’re meant to live.
  • We awaken to one of the main purposes of our life as becoming loving humans.

It is true that tending to the spokes of the wheel can also be a way of giving to the partnership. Tending to all the domains of our life builds our sense of self and brings well-being to us as individuals. That is a gift to our partnership. But any time we give an excessive amount of time and attention to the spokes, we are missing the way we can derive maximum benefit by giving most of our time and attention to the center. For all these enjoyable benefits, it’s worth our time and effort to keep the hub of the wheel of our life in the best possible condition. Would you say that it’s worth any time and energy required to do so, to reap this abundance of benefits?

advertisement
More from Linda and Charlie Bloom
More from Psychology Today