Verified by 
Teenagers and young adults Google “sex” and “love” as often as they do any other terms. These two topics are the focus of my research, teaching, and clinical work. And despite the many options you have to explore these subjects, I believe there is room for the slightly uncommon perspective you will find in this blog.
For example, it seems to me that we are in love with sexual categories, and feel the need to categorize people using a limited number of sexual groups. And we believe that we understand something important about a person if we know whether she or he is straight or gay. Regrettably, social and biological scientists have been complicit by comparing straights versus gays/lesbians in their research designs, while forgetting everyone else who doesn’t identify as one of these. Yet the demands for new research are real: Right now, we think people are either straight or gay, as if one drop of gayness makes you gay, even if this means distorting the sexual and romantic experiences of millions of teenagers and young adults who are neither gay nor straight.
I’ll offer alternatives to this perspective. Following are some of my basic tenets:
1. Sexuality and romance are on a continuum, from exclusively devoted to one sex to exclusively devoted to the other, with considerable variation in between. This spectrum includes those who are not loyal to one sex or gender in particular, those who are not sexually or romantically attracted to any sex or gender, and those who are attracted to multiple sexes and genders. Some of these people identify as asexual, pansexual, genderqueer, polysexual, aromantic, two-spirit, and other terms we’ll explore in the future.
2. Romantic orientation exists. It is related to, but not always identical to, sexual orientation. Thus, the gender one falls in love with is not always the gender one is sexually attracted to.
3. Sexual and romantic fluidity are real, and are perhaps as prevalent among young men as they are among young women. The sexuality and romantic desires of some young adults change with time and context, although we currently know little about these important influences.
4. It is highly likely that we are born with a range of sexual and romantic attractions, and that within this range we might well choose our identity and behavior. Some of us have a very narrow range within which we experience our sexuality and romantic selves, while some of us have a very wide range of potential involvements.
5. In a perfect world, all of us would feel, and be treated with, respect. Regardless of sexuality, we all want to lead happy, authentic, and fulfilling lives.
I’ll expand on these themes in the coming months, and answer any questions you might have regarding sex, sexuality, and romance. I also welcome challenges and your perspectives, and will try my best to respond in a responsible manner.
