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Depression
Do You Contribute to Your Own Depression?
How many of these six depression-generating factors apply to you?
Posted February 21, 2017 Reviewed by Davia Sills
Every year, millions struggle with depression. Conservative data from the Center for Disease Control suggest that 19 percent of adults are significantly depressed at times. I believe the figure actually underreports the problem. Of greater alarm is the estimate that depression costs Americans $83 billion each year in lost work productivity and medications.
From my four decades of clinical practice, I am aware that, certainly, there is a biochemical component of depression for some people. For example, who would contest that postpartum depression afflicts many women? However, I have found that the majority of people diagnosed with some form of depression unintentionally often rob themselves of joy.
This isn't said to induce guilt or make sufferers feel shame. For many, depression is more psychological in origin. Often, it is the way people approach life, their spirituality or lack thereof, their life strategy, and their self-cognitions, all of which greatly affect their affective state. There is a connection between the psychological and physical, and sometimes isn't it difficult to discern the chicken from the egg?
Here are six main factors that contribute to depression:
We rob ourselves of joy and set ourselves up for depression when we are...
1. Too critical.
Isn't it a human condition if you don't think you are good at something to want to quit? In order to have satisfying pastimes, we need to acquire constructive hobbies, hobbies that don't deliver aggravation. When people are too self-critical, they may not be able to get through the awkward acquisition stage of a new task or hobby.
How often had you had that clumsy, "I'm not sure I can do this" time? Even trying to read the Bible or any new book can fall into this category. Without good ways to pass their time constructively, many set themselves up to be bored or turn to a form of self-medication, abusing drugs or alcohol or becoming shopaholics.
Some become so obsessed when they experience success that the quality of their life suffers. Who hasn't witnessed a friend who just worked or exercised too much?
2. Too judgmental.
Typically, people are as self-critical as they are other-person-critical. We all have what I call an anger reservoir. When you are near the threshold, it doesn't take much to go off.
Some externalize their anger and act out aggressively. Others can internalize anger and become depressed. Those who try to overcontrol their anger can generate psychogenic ailments, like migraines, hypertension, or ulcers.
Overcontrolling anger also can create pressure, like water building behind a dam. If there is too much in the reservoir, as is currently occurring in California, the dam can burst. When the pressure is too high, the effort to hold it together can cause anxiety attacks. A person who is highly judgmental can slowly add to the reservoir.
3. Expectations are too high.
Did you feel like you always had to make an A? Wasn't there less pressure when it was a pass or fail? A person who doesn't have realistic standards doesn't ever feel successful. It is very similar to being too critical. The two often go hand and hand.
It can be difficult deciding what reasonable expectations are. Often, many don't appreciate the effort it takes to do things, but expect outstanding results. How many weeks do you need to get in shape? How long before a diet shows results? How much weight can you reasonably lose in six months?
4. We don’t have an attitude of gratitude and are not appreciative of what’s around us.
An old army saying is: "A good day is when they are not shooting at you." Indeed, a person who can't be at peace and appreciate the solace is setting him- or herself up to be at constant war. Doesn't worship involve being able to slow down and have an attitude of gratitude? Can you just appreciate the blessings around you?
Hopefully, you aren't in pain and are reasonably healthy. How much do you take for granted? Can you appreciate your journey along the proverbial trail, the process, and not just the end result?
5. We don’t look for solutions to problems.
We all have issues and how people are able to resolve what confronts them is important. People hold grudges, which fill the anger reservoir because there hasn't been a resolution. But forgiveness by one usually is facilitated by repentance by the other. Repentance is an authentic behavior change.
A heartfelt "I'm sorry, and I won't do that again." Of course, having insight, and admitting what you have to be repentant about, is paramount. We all have to differentiate what we do and do not have control over. Does anyone believe there is a solution to every problem?
6. We are unforgiving.
If we are unforgiving, we set ourselves up to constantly feed the anger reservoir. I believe that understanding a situation can lead to acceptance, which facilitates forgiveness.
For example, if you were in a crowded elevator and someone hit you, you might become angry. You could say to yourself, "I don't deserve this, this isn't fair, who do they think they are?" You turn around and see that the perpetrator is sight-impaired. Your acceptance and forgiveness can increase.
Forgiveness can be strongly correlated to our ability to be humble. Isn't it honest but prideful to admit inwardly that you may think, "I'm mad at you because what you do wrong is different than what I do wrong!" A humble person could say, "Why am I mad at you when I make mistakes too?" How often has your pride contributed to your reservoir?
So, are you robbing yourself of joy?
