COVID-19: How to Take Back Control

Source: Nick Bolton/Unsplash

Catastrophes are known to shake communities to the bone, but very few catastrophes elicit the same sort of dread as a pandemic.[1] Although people are affected in many different ways, what unites us is a sense of having no control and being worried or apprehensive about the future. In brief, we feel powerless. Some of us may feel that this sense of powerlessness wears us down and hinders us to get on with our lives; we lack energy and find it difficult to concentrate. Faced with severe disruption that may continue for months if not years, what can we do to shake off those feelings and lift those mental clouds?

The scientific literature on the psychology of power may offer some reprieve. From this literature, we know that power—the capacity to influence and control resources and outcomes—is a state of mind inasmuch as it reflects people’s formal standing or position.[2] We also know that it is possible to achieve an empowered state of mind through what is perhaps best described by the idiom ‘fake it until you make it.' In other words, we can emulate those in power—think and act in similar ways and in so doing overcome our own feelings of powerlessness.[3-6] Let’s dive straight into it. Here are seven ways we can give ourselves a boost by following the example of those in power:

1. Prioritise. Powerful people are good at prioritising; they work hard when it is time to work, and they play hard when it is time to play.[7] In contrast, when we feel powerless we are easily distracted; we may end up browsing the internet (aimlessly) during work, and we ruminate about work when it is time to relax or socialise. With everything that is going on, how can we be more focused and tackle one task at a time? It helps to set small, manageable goals.[8] This can mean focusing for, say, 10 minutes on a task, followed by a break (with a defined purpose and end-state). Powerful people are not known for indulging in self-criticism, so don’t be hard on yourself if you do get distracted; practice makes perfect.

2. Listen to your body. This may come as a surprise but people with power also tend to be more in tune with their bodies. What does this mean? First, it means people with power find it easier to discern bodily signals such as their heartbeat.[9] Second, it means people with power allow themselves to be guided by their feelings.[10] Let’s take food as an example: Do you stop eating when the plate is empty (an external signal), or when you are no longer hungry (an internal signal)? Feelings of power create a connection between the inner and the outer world, and this connection is severed when we feel powerless. Mindfulness and breathing exercises can push open the door to our inner, visceral world, with well-known benefits for our overall well-being and feelings of control.[11]

3. Savour good moments. Henry Kissinger famously described power as an ‘aphrodisiac’. Yet, contrary to popular belief having power in and of itself does not make people happy. Rather, power gives people the freedom to seek out positive experiences and the capacity to savour the moment. Crucially, positive experiences do not necessitate expensive or luxury items. In fact, the studies referred to here had participants listen to upbeat music or look at feel-good images.[12]

4. Accept that it’s OK (and not unusual) to feel low; focus on moving on. Although power implies making the most of positive experiences, it does not imply feeling good all the time. Powerful people have negative experiences, and they feel just as bad as others when things go pear-shaped. What distinguishes those who feel powerful and those who feel powerless is the ability to move on and to bounce back.[13] Some of that requires making a conscious effort; for example, actively reframing a situation, deliberately taking a step back, and shifting one’s focus.[14]

5. Dial down your social brain. A good amount of our brain power is spent mentalising others—thinking about what other people are thinking. When we feel powerless, this type of cognition goes into overdrive.[15] Added to that is a desire to predict what is happening next, which in the current circumstances may mean trying to second-guess officials’ next moves. Powerful people prefer to stick to their own mental world unless they really must mentalise, or they are dispositioned to do so. They are also more inspired by themselves than by others.[16] Focusing on the here and now, and on things that are within one’s reach and control can be empowering.[17]

6. Be yourself. Save a few exceptions, powerful people have less need for self-validation, and they worry less about how they are judged by others.[18] Consequently, powerful people experience a greater sense of authenticity, which boosts their well-being.[19] Remote communication and social media can exacerbate the tendency to seek validation from others.[20] Social media can also undermine authenticity if people try and portray themselves in unusual or unnatural ways.[21] It is important to be aware of the potential drawbacks of relinquishing authenticity in a digital world.

7. Be kind and forgiving. Powerful people are often not exactly role models when it comes to being warm and caring, but there are a few things we can learn from them about relationships. Studies show that people with power are more forgiving in relationships that matter (friends, family).[22] The current crisis might be a good time to bury the hatchet with people who were once close. In a related vein, powerful people—especially those who feel secure—also tend to be less bothered by other people’s transgressions and they are less vindictive.[23] Strength and control—antidotes of powerlessness—do not arise from disputes or angry exchanges, but from kindness and forgiveness.[24]