What We Can Learn from Lady Gaga and Liza Minnelli

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I’m not going to talk about the Will Smith slap heard 'round the world. I’m just not.

What I am going to talk about, and what I can’t stop thinking and smiling about, is the minute and a half when Lady Gaga took the stage with Liza Minnelli.

Now, you may already know that I’m an absolute Gaga stan. I took my mom to one of her concerts in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She’s incredible. Full stop. So I’m admitting that I may not be fully objective here. However, I’m confident that the Lady and Liza moment has something to teach us all about how to be supportive.

Let me walk you through the segment:

The Lady Gaga and Liza Minnelli Moment

Lady Gaga and Liza Minnelli take the stage to present the award for Best Picture at the Academy Awards. Gaga stands next to Minnelli, who's seated in a wheelchair. The crowd applauds enthusiastically, and Lady Gaga steps aside and gestures toward Minnelli. Then, Minnelli says that she doesn’t understand, so Gaga tells her, “I got it.”

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Lady Gaga then begins introducing Minnelli. She takes her hand when she describes her as a legend and keeps holding her hand as she begins introducing the category for Best Picture.

When it’s Minnelli’s turn to speak, she asks, “Now?” and then looks to Gaga for confirmation that it’s her turn. Gaga gives her a reassuring nod, and Minnelli begins. When Minnelli stumbles on her lines, Gaga chimes in, “We’re going to see who the nominees are right now.” Minnelli seems relieved and says, “Oh good.”

As they cut to the clips of the nominated films, Gaga can be heard saying, “I got you” to Minnelli who responds, “I know.”

This moment between 76-year-old Minnelli and 36-year-old Gaga stands out to me for a few reasons. It could have been an absolute disaster. Gaga could have let Minnelli struggle, not knowing how to help, or she could have just bulldozed through and taken the spotlight completely.

I talk a lot about having people’s backs in my work. There’s a pre-show improv ritual where players walk around patting each other’s backs saying “I got your back.” It’s a way to remind yourself and each other that you will make everyone on stage look good. You’ll be supportive, and your teammates will support you. I even sign my monthly newsletters with “I got your back” because that’s the improv sentiment that feels the most essential for being a good human being. Make people look good. Be supportive. Be a team player.

So what can we learn about being supportive from Gaga’s I-got-your-back approach with Minnelli?

1. Have People’s Backs

Lady Gaga tells Minnelli “I got it” and “I got this” and gives her a reassuring nod. She is physically and verbally reminding Minnelli that she will steer the ship and get them through the segment.

Do those things. Tell people that you have their backs. Remind people that you’re on their side and that you won’t leave them out to dry. Send cards. Say it to their face. Don’t take it for granted.

2. Don’t Hog the Spotlight

Gaga could have easily upstaged Minnelli, but she didn’t. She redirected the applause to Minnelli and let her have her moment. She didn’t step on Minnelli’s lines. Instead, she literally stepped aside. She held her hand and nodded her head to help Minnelli have her stage time.

Do this, too.

It can be tough to see people struggle. Some of us have a tendency to be fixers. We jump in and rescue people, whether they want or need rescuing. Others are bystanders. We don’t jump in and inadvertently let people crash and burn.

There’s a middle road where we step in when we’re needed without stepping on toes. Give people credit for their ideas. When possible, let people speak for themselves. You’d be surprised how much a reassuring nod can help. And when in doubt, don’t yell out.

3. It’s Not About You

Finally, Gaga didn’t make the moment all about her, as some might expect from Gaga. (Not me; I know how amazing she is already.)

Definitely do this too. Ask genuinely curious follow-up questions instead of talking about yourself. Listen more than you talk. Ask people if they want advice or just space to vent. Ask how you can help. Don’t assume. Read the room. Have you been sharing the airtime?

Empathy Essential Reads

The 6 Essential Aspects of Empathy

The Mystery of Human Kindness

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Be a Better Person

The goal in all this is to be better people. The Will Smith moment (which I promise not to talk about) may have been more symbolic of the mental exhaustion and burnout many people are feeling after two (understatement of the century in 3, 2, 1) not-so-easy years. But I think we may learn more by focusing on the Lady Gaga and Liza Minnelli moment.

There is a way to be supportive, be a team player, have people’s back, and strive to help people be their best selves. But this requires us to focus on other people’s needs and on their humanity. This requires us to think more about how to make others succeed than about how we can win.

And who would have thought that the Fame Monster herself would be the one teaching us about altruism and empathy?

Me! I would have thought it because she is, and has always been, amazing.