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Key points
- Believers in free will tend to feel an inordinate amount of shame for their failures.
- Your genes and environment contribute to your choices and efforts.
- Accepting some level of determinism may help us learn to integrate our flaws.
There's a misconception that we need to believe in free will in order to be able to grow. Proponents of free will argue that therapy, for example, can be successful only if patients believe in their ability to choose to take complete responsibility for their lives. Unfortunately, with that perspective, one that professes a belief in libertarian free will, taking responsibility invariably engenders a deep sense of shame, particularly when taking responsibility for change isn't enough to make practical changes.
Free Will vs. Determinism
I argue instead for agency, which isn't the same as free will, as agency is cultivated in an environment that takes genes, life circumstances, and a history of trauma into account. Agency allows the individual to work with the tools she's given, as opposed to believing that she can will herself to be whomever she wishes. Since we tend to be black-and-white thinkers, we frequently get trapped in the dichotomy of free will vs. determinism. Patients have told me: "If I don't believe in free will, shouldn't I just give up?" Determinism, to them, means that everything is set in stone and, logically, we must therefore lack the ability to change course; free will, on the contrary, means the ability to change course whenever one wants to. Yet, they fail to note that their perspective is, in part, related to how difficult it is (both emotionally and with respect to the limits of our imaginations) for us to conceive of free will as anything but free; to most of us, it feels like we are in charge of our brains. And it's often terrifying to consider otherwise.
People with ADHD, for example, are often astounded by their inability to concentrate for long periods of time (with few exceptions) and complete simple tasks. So, they seek out psychotherapy to aid them. They most often believe the problem lies with their motivation, hoping that treatment will persuade them to take their lives more seriously, as though their current distress isn't already indicative of their deep desire to change. Yet, with respect to ADHD, psychotherapeutic treatment often comprises teaching behavioral strategies for focusing (and remembering) and, most importantly, addressing the shame around their diagnosis.
Some Benefits of Determinism
We can easily note how failing to believe in free will may hinder treatment, but, contrary to our intuitions, accepting some form of genetic and environmental determinism may actually aid it. Bill Sullivan writes, "It is now understood that virtually anything in our environment can alter gene activity: diet, exercise, drug use, pollution, and more. Perhaps more surprisingly, experiences can also alter gene activity through epigenetics. Children who suffer trauma have epigenetic changes in genes regulating stress responses, which may explain why many grow up to have health and behavioral problems." This means that much of what we call our personality is heavily influenced by factors we have no control over, both internal and external.
For me, understanding cause and effect and what I was and wasn't capable of helped me reframe my conception of myself as a coward when I was unable to stand up to my stepfather as a teenager. I came to understand how my risk assessment, limited physical strength, and lack of support contributed to what finally felt like an inevitable decision, even though it really was just "more likely than not." When we consider free will as free, we compare ourselves to all others, as though we're equals in every imaginable way. While politically and socially, this ought to be accurate—meaning we all deserve equal treatment under the law—it isn't accurate psychologically or, almost as often, even physically.
It's easy to feel insulted by the suggestion that one has a neurodivergent brain, to feel abnormal in all of the worst ways. The benefits of these diagnoses, truthfully, fail to counterbalance their symptoms, but the internal pressure to overcome them not only helps to sustain them in their unmanaged forms but also adds a layer of grief after each failed attempt. Consider how trauma may influence the mind's ability to deal with stress and how difficult a task that may be to alter. On an episode of the Seize the Moment Podcast, Sullivan told my cohost Alen and me that we should think of our environments as dimmer switches, which regulate the expression of our genes. Noting studies on adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), he recounted the various factors that contribute to mental health struggles later in life, stating, "If you look at the brains of, unfortunately, children exposed to ACEs...if you look at those brains postmortem, you can find epigenetic changes that took place at stress response genes. So, what that is telling us is that children exposed to ACEs are being epigenetically reprogrammed to expect stress and trauma all the time, and they don't seem to be able to grow out of that."
Agency: Sharing Success or Failure
Whereas blame says, "You deserved your punishment," responsibility asks, "What can I do to improve?" or "How can I contribute?" Distinguishing between the two in the context of Sullivan's comment about traumatic stress aids us in disconnecting the notion of agency from that of free will. Whereas free will implies, "You can go as far as you're willing to," agency implies that you can use resources at your disposal to get better at coping. Unlike free will, the notion of agency takes into account the influences around you, from therapy to your teachers to peers and family. Agency implies a world wherein actors don't act on their own but because of themselves and others, with the influences, including one's personality (or propensities), affecting the likelihood of each outcome.
Our perfectionist patients tend to struggle with accepting their limits, again the significant downside of accepting the responsibility attached to a libertarian form of free will, and, paradoxically, they cower from shame (fluctuating between avoidance and obsession). To them, each failure is solely attributed to them, as is each success. Agency, however, is a compatibilist response to the debate, but one that eliminates the possibility of extreme pride, which those perfectionists tend to be hyper-focused on feeling. So, you choose to take the good with the bad; if you subscribe to this view, your wins are shared just as much as your losses.
As therapists, we learn to share in our patients' failures as well, taking some of the burden of responsibility off of them. If Sullivan is right, the sharing should help. It signifies the impact of trauma or, more generally, of any diagnosis. And it helps our patients learn to live as part of, rather than above, the world, in tune with its rhythm. The free-will believer, in some sense, believes herself to be superhuman. Yet, humility teaches her that she's less in control of the world and even her own mind than she wishes to think. But her believing that requires one final element to this wonderful stew: her open mind.
To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
