Helping Others Through Change

Change isn't easy. When we face change, we all react differently based on various things, like our upbringing, experiences, or mood.

Previously I discussed how to help yourself through change and how to lead a team through change, but this post guides you when you want to help a teammate or colleague. Before you help others, make sure you are in a place mentally where you can help. As the cliché goes, "put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others."

As mentioned in previous posts, there are three stages people generally need to get through to accept a change, and they involve your head, heart, and hands. Typically, people need to understand (head) the change before they can accept it (heart) and then, when motivated, will look for the tools to implement (hands).

Source: Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

The Head Stage

People at this stage ask, “why?” or “will this actually solve the problem?” and “is there a need for change?” They experience disbelief, denial, and skepticism–likely because they feel they are missing something. They struggle to understand why the change is important, or its meaning.

This means they need more information on what's involved, the purpose of the change, and what will be expected/required of them.

To help people through this stage:

• Ask what they know about the change.
• Provide rationale/benefits for change.
• Provide them with a vision of the future.
• Explain what happens if we don’t change.
• Explain details.

The Heart Stage

People at this stage say, "this doesn't apply to me," "that’s not what I do," "I can't do this now," "they can't make me do this," or ask, "what’s in it for me?" They withdraw, show resistance, feel overwhelmed or distrustful, and miss the relevance of the change.

This means they likely understand the change but don't agree or want to be involved. If the change is inevitable, find ways to help them manage this resistance because it can be the most derailing.

Help them dig deeper and reframe by:

• Asking how are they feeling.
• Understand what they may have to give up.
• Acknowledge the legitimacy of their feelings.
• Determine what they dislike or are struggling with.
• Explain the individual benefits–including when they may feel competent (again).
• Encourage them when you see them learning.
• Recognize their successes, even small ones.
• Build momentum and enthusiasm.
• Help them find time to destress.
• Translate the change to their specific needs.

The Hands Stage

Finally, people may be on board with the change but just don't know how to make it happen. They typically ask, “what am I supposed to do differently?” or say, “I don’t know how,” and “I already did that.” They may feel unsupportive, revert to old habits, are fatigued, or see the change as a one-time task rather than a full process.

Find ways to help make the change stick by:

• Helping them establish a habit.
• Model the behaviour yourself.
• Find training resources and obtain resources/help for them.
• Develop additional relationships to build new ways of working.
• Continue to reinforce the right behaviour.

Figuring out what stage teammates are at helps move things forward for the team and helps them feel better understood and heard, which can lead to stronger working relationships.