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Stress

The Right Stuff: How to Actively Manage the Things You Own

It's best to have not too much, but not too little.

Key points

  • In uncluttered spaces our stress levels are low, but deciding what stays and goes should be a thoughtful decision.
  • A space can be an unpleasant place for a person to live, work, and visit if it doesn't contain things that are important to them.
  • Taking a photo of an old valued possession could replace the need to keep the object itself.

As spring approaches, many of us get in the mood not just to clean but to de-clutter.

It’s hard to argue against cleaning—we’ve all seen oodles of photos of germs blown up large by a microscope’s lens—so there’s little debate about investing in some disinfectant.

“Clutter” is almost as unpopular as germs.

Our brains work more effectively, our ability to focus and our mood is better, and our wellbeing gets a boost when clutter is held at bay. In uncluttered spaces, our stress levels are low and our self-control is high.

Deciding what stays and what goes is an important decision, for more reasons than you may realize. We need things in our lives for more than practical reasons. The objects we choose to surround ourselves with send important messages to us and to others about who we are and what we value. Collections of china teacups and skis and classical music scores and the loads of other things that can fill our homes—and in most cases also our offices—remind us what we like about ourselves and also help those who encounter our “spaces” understand us better. We’re fit sportspeople, or tight with our family, enthusiastic musicians, or something else entirely, and we let everyone know what we want them to think about us by leaving them clues. We’re experts at decoding the messages that people who grew up in the same culture are delivering with the things that they choose to surround themselves with. Personalizing a space with our things makes it more likely we’ll be comfortable and relaxed in it.

Sure, some of us have too much, but there are grave consequences if tabletops, bookshelves, countertops, walls—surfaces generally—are bare of things that signal who we are and what’s important to us. Nothing makes a space an unpleasant place to live, work, and visit faster than nothing.

When we see objects in a space, we converse more freely with whomever “owns” that spot. We know what to talk about. We also have a better idea of how to act around them. Is the person we’re visiting more formal than casual? More formality means slightly larger distances between us during conversations, for starters. Knowing more about the person we’re talking with helps keep stress levels in check.

Before a single item sees the inside of your wastebasket or trashcan, think through what individual items mean to you, what they really represent to you and the others that view them. If an item sends you some sort of positive message—it reminds you of a lovely spring afternoon when you found out you were going to be a mom or a grandma, or that you’re a top-notch addition to any sailing team or an expert marksman—keep it. The messages that our stuff sends to us can help us stay positive about ourselves and our world.

Keeping something doesn’t necessarily mean keeping it in view, however.

We live our best lives in places with moderate visual complexity. Visual complexity is determined by the number of colors, patterns, etc., you can see as you look around your world and whether those colors, etc., seem arranged according to some plan, if they have some sort (any sort) or order. A residential interior design by Frank Lloyd Wright demonstrates what moderate, best-life levels of clutter look like, so, in your own home, aim for a space that reminds you of something Wright may have put together in terms of the number of colors, patterns, vases, paintings, etc. present. It’s a lot easier to create a space that reminds you of another than it may at first seem to you. Give it a shot and you’ll see.

Storing items with meaning to you in cabinets or other containers with opaque sides that you can’t see through, not even a tiny bit, can keep the number of items in view in your home in check. You can rotate teacups, etc., into and out of storage as the mood strikes you.

Ask yourself if keeping a photo of an item is enough to retain the memories you associate with it—the photo may very well suffice. You may be able to live without your lacrosse stick from high school if you can view it online whenever you want, for example.

Be fair; everyone who lives or works in a space needs to be able to tell their own story. Curate your world (and the spaces you share) so everyone can feel good in them. Don’t bow to peer pressure to “get rid of it all.” Sometimes less really is less.

Please note: This post does not, in any way, support hoarding. Hoarding is a serious psychological issue that needs to be treated by trained professionals.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

References

For more info: Rebecca Renner. 2020. “Why Pandemic Stress Breeds Clutter—And How to Break the Cycle.” National Geographic, https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2020/08/why-coronavirus-stre…

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