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In our last post, we shared three steps to engage and motivate your child during remote learning. In today’s post, we will finish our discussion so that you can implement a positive system and environment for the best remote learning situation possible.
4. Use an accountability system that lets your child self-direct as much as possible.
Self-direction meets your child's need for autonomy, which is motivating and heads off nagging and power struggles. Some families use a chalkboard or whiteboard for the child to list and check off assignments.
You can also use an index card for each subject. Your child is responsible for completing six cards in a day and bringing them to you each time they finish an assignment to check them off. In addition to regular assignments, you can add other assignments you want to encourage, such as piano practice or chatting with a grandparent on Zoom. I personally prefer the index card system because I think it is less overwhelming for children to see a stack of index cards than a long checklist. It’s also motivating to see the stack decrease in size and to know that after they complete three index cards, they will be rewarded: for instance, with special time with a parent.
Let your child choose what to complete and when. Do they want to tackle their hardest subject first or leave it until last? That's their call.
If your child resists getting started, ask them how many minutes they can work on this first assignment before taking a break and what they want to look forward to doing during that break. Set a timer with them for that number of minutes—let’s say it’s 10 minutes—and then take a three-minute break where you do something active or sensory (blow bubbles, wrestle, play a quick round of “Take off each other's socks”).
5. Set up a space that signals learning.
In the same way that beds induce sleepiness or plates on the table signal that it's time to eat, your child needs a workplace that reminds them this is study time. Keep all your child’s work and supplies in this spot or in a box that gets moved to this spot while your child is working. Clear clutter and distractions from your child’s workspace.
Some children are able to work on their own, but most will need to have their workstation set up very close to a parent, or they won’t be able to stay on track. So if you have the kind of job that lets you sit your child next to you for a few hours, you’re likely to reap huge gains in your child’s ability to stay on track with his work.
Pay attention to ergonomics, so the discomfort isn’t distracting your child. That means, if you can, move the screen to eye level and use a wireless keyboard and mouse so that elbows are at a 90° angle. Many children love a standing desk, so they can move around as they engage with a screen. For some, though, standing is halfway to other distracting activities, so they do best with their bottom in a chair.
Support your child in developing the habit of storing papers in labeled folders in a box or some other system that organizes their work, so nothing gets lost.
For resistant kids, choose to do the toughest assignments in fun places: the park, a tent in your living room, a bench outside the coffee shop with a hot chocolate, in her closet in a cozy reading corner that you outfit with pillows.
6. Stay present.
It’s pretty hard to stay aware of what your schoolchild is doing during the school day while you're meeting with your boss, poring over a spreadsheet, or supervising a toddler. But it's simply not likely that any child can stay on track with remote online learning without supervision.
Developing autonomy in schoolwork is just like potty training and bedtime—in the beginning, you were very involved, but over time, your child takes more and more responsibility, and your involvement becomes minimal. The good news is that as you put the energy in to help your child develop good work habits, they realize more and more success, so they're more motivated and self-regulating in their schoolwork.
Of course, that doesn't help you be in two places at once right now. If you can alternate childcare responsibilities with a partner, that’s obviously helpful to give each of you child-free time for other work. Try to schedule your own meetings when you know your child will be onscreen with their class.
No partner available, and you have an important Zoom call? Set your child up for a date with a relative. They can read to each other, play Hangman, draw together while telling stories, or do art. Get your child into audiobooks, so they can listen with headphones while you're in meetings.
There's no way to sugarcoat this. Most children can manage themselves through short periods of time with minimal supervision, but to be sure your child stays engaged and feels motivated with remote learning, they'll probably need an adult nearby. If you’re holding down a job at the same time, that's clearly an impossible task. So give yourself some grace, remember your long-term goals—and try to find the humor in doing the impossible. It isn't fair, I know. But it's worth it.
