Leaning Into Mindfulness

This post was co-authored by Rahil D. Briggs, Psy.D., and Sarah MacLaughlin, LSW.

Caring for young children can be delightful, but it can also be stressful and sometimes difficult. One of the biggest challenges is staying emotionally regulated when children lose their cool or behave in ways adults find confronting and frustrating. It is easy to get swept up into the fray when little ones get off track. That is when it’s particularly important for caregivers to self-regulate—not let their emotions take over—so they can model that for their children.

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Research indicates that mindful awareness helps caregivers be less reactive to their babies in a way that allows them to be more empathetic to their distress (Pickard et al., 2017). Mindfulness practices can support adults’ efforts at regulation, and this applies to teachers and caregivers who care for other people’s children as well. In fact, mindful-based interactions have been shown to reduce teacher stress, improve emotion regulation, and increase self-compassion (Emerson et al., 2017).

Many mindfulness practices are simple and easily added to daily routines—both for adults and the children they care for. Here are some examples:

For adults:

• Simple mindfulness meditation: Sitting for even just a few minutes with the intention of emptying your mind of thought can make a big difference. Mindfulness isn’t complicated, but it does take practice.
• Four-count breathing: Breathing in a four-count pattern—four-second breath in, four-second hold, four-second breath out, and four-second hold—has been used in settings from yoga studios to the military. It really works!
• Gratitude practice: Taking a few minutes each day to find something to be grateful for is a lovely way to bring mindfulness. This practice can be challenging to remember when it has been a rough day, but that’s when it can be most valuable.
• Additional ways: Here’s how mindfulness is a parent superpower.

For young children:

• Smell a flower, blow a bubble: A simple way to bring focus and calm is to have the child hold up one finger in front of their face and pretend it is a flower. First, have them breathe in slowly through their nose, pretending to smell it. Then, they can pretend their finger has turned into a bubble wand and slowly blow out like they are blowing a bubble. Repeat a few times.
• Beanie Baby breathing: When a child lies on their back and places a Beanie Baby or small stuffed animal on their stomach while breathing, it can help to promote deep breaths by watching the animal go up and down, even higher with deeper belly breaths. Many people generally breathe less deeply or struggle to breathe deeply from their bellies, and this practice helps shift that.
• Body wiggles: Not all mindfulness practices have the goal of immediate settling or calm. Sometimes, we need to shake it out! Put on a song and wiggle or chant a silly saying or nursery rhyme while shaking your arms and legs. Need more? Start with shaking out the feet and go one body part at a time all the way up to the head. These moves can be supportive when emotions are running high.
• Additional mindfulness activities for families.

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Mindfulness isn’t a cure-all for relieving the stress of caring for young children—but it can be effective. When caregivers care for themselves while caring for children, everyone benefits. Practitioners can also benefit from these practices. Try some of them yourself before sharing them with families—even the ones for kids are great for all of us.