The Effects of Culture on Coming Out

This post is written by T. Roy, research affiliate at the Department of Psychology, Monk Prayogshala.

"Coming out" or self-disclosure is a process in which members of the LGBTQIA+ community reveal their sexual orientation. whether just to significant people or as a full public disclosure. According to Erik Erikson's paradigm, adolescence is characterized by a psychosocial conflict between identity and role confusion linked to the desire to belong to a group and explore one’s identity. In the process of establishing an identity, LGBTQ+ youth may experience an identity crisis as they juggle between affiliation with a minority group and the inherent pressure of self-disclosure.

Much of LGBTQ+ history has its roots in Western countries with predominantly Caucasian populations. The French Revolution, in the 18th century, marked the first wave of decriminalization of homosexuality, with France being the first country to do so. In the second wave of decriminalization, during the 1960s, the movement expanded to include several countries in northern and western Europe. Today, more than half of European countries have legalized same-sex marriage, a privilege not enjoyed by many countries. In fact, the tradition of the “pride parade,” a peaceful protest by LGBTQ+ individuals of being openly "out and proud," originated in American cities.

Source: Patricia Luquet/Pexels

National Coming Out Day, which was first celebrated in America on October 11, 1988, through the initiative of an LGBTQ+ political activist and psychologist, is now celebrated in a few other Western countries. The celebration is rooted in the premise that coming out can be a liberating and empowering experience. However, this Western-centric view has been critiqued, arguing that it ignores the complexities of self-disclosure for queer communities in different sociopolitical and cultural contexts. Coming out is a challenging process for many in traditional or collectivistic cultures due to enforced heteronormativity.

Research conducted on the self-disclosure of queer identities in collectivistic countries such as Japan, India, China, and Taiwan has highlighted the specificity of the cultural experience of self-disclosure within individualistic and collectivistic countries. A 2018 study investigated the two self-disclosure models, “coming out” (leaving the family to gain sexual freedom) and “coming home” (staying with the family while concealing queerness), in China. Chinese queer individuals prioritize social harmony over individual identity, making the “coming home” model more culturally relevant. The study described a third model, “coming with,” which integrates aspects of both approaches and is more appropriate within Chinese culture, allowing individuals to navigate family relationships while preserving queer sexuality.

Another narrative review of the self-disclosure process in international and Indian scenarios identified parental/family support and cultural/traditional barriers as major themes in the coming out process. An Indian study (2021) explored same-sex sexuality disclosure in metropolitan India. Research studies like these highlight the need to endorse family values originating from collectivistic societal norms. One review compares parents' reactions to coming out in traditional families to Kubler-Ross’s grief model: Parents start with denial, anger, and bargaining (in the form of a hope for conversion), and if lucky, reach the acceptance stage. The families see it as a “phase” stemming from Western pop culture. The fear of rejection after revealing sexual identity may contribute to the "disclosure distress" experienced by LGBTQ+ individuals.

Most LGBTQ+ individuals in Eastern societies choose not to come out to the family. In collectivistic societies, association with the family takes precedence over individual identity. A 2024 study discussed how a family’s reaction to self-disclosure of sexual identity may be rooted in race/ethnicity or cultural-level acceptance of sexual minorities. In fact, it is observed that culturally traditional families often resort to faith-healing methods or conversion therapies to keep the youth integrated into the religious and cultural values.

Many countries across the globe have minimal laws for the protection of LGBTQ+ individuals, and some (e.g., a number of Middle Eastern regions) intentionally restrict privileges for queer people. Making the decision to come out of the closet in such countries could expose individuals to life-threatening consequences. In India, Section 377 of the constitution that criminalizes homosexuality was repealed in 2018. Many conservative communities of India criticize this verdict, labeling it as a "Western influence" and against religious and cultural values, while ironically ignoring that Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code was introduced by the British colonialists and not by independent India.

The mainstream narrative of self-disclosure or "coming out of the closet" reflects Western traditions that ignore the influence of family, culture, and heritage. In the current sociocultural context, the meaning of coming out is still rooted in the Western school of thought, putting visibility over privacy. It is ironic how in a community where gender and sexual identity are considered fluid or on a spectrum, the entirety of the community is divided into a dichotomy of "those who are out" and "those who are not out." The act of coming out is not an inevitable or a one-size-fits-all expectation; it is a choice where authenticity doesn’t have to mean sacrificing safety and belonging.