Building Bridges of Belongingness

This post was written by Ejaz Shaikh, undergraduate student of psychology at Thakur Ramnarayan College of Arts and Commerce, Mumbai, India.

“The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life.” –Rabindranath Tagore

Health and Harmony

A thousand miles from the bustling metropolitan city of Tokyo lies a serene subtropical chain of islands called Okinawa. Any fortunate visitor wandering near those turquoise waters has a healthy chance of stumbling upon a jolly group of Kimono-clad octogenarians giddy about “sado”—or the tea ceremony they are heading to. Okinawa is one of those famed blue zones—rare locations wherein people can be expected to hit an age of 100 usually unburdened by any chronic ailment. Research has made it clear that the lifestyle in these blue zones is a major catalyst in life longevity—specifically, social contacts with near and dear ones.

Globally, cultures distinguish themselves by struggling along the axes of society and the self. Self-valuing cultures, wherein autonomy and accomplishments are highly valued, are called individualistic cultures. On the contrary, cultures valuing social harmony and cohesion are collectivistic. Although the studies are slightly ambiguous, the rise of hyper-individualism in predominantly Western cultures has increased their susceptibility to loneliness. Collectivist societies aren’t immune to loneliness, but they are less risk-prone owing to less social isolation. Neither of these behavioral philosophies—individualism or collectivism—is superior to the other; however, just as every Yin is balanced by a Yang, similarly, aspects of inflating hyper-individualism can be grounded by down-to-earth collectivism.

Isolation to Interdependence

Fostering a subtle sense of collectivism focuses on strengthening social cohesion and social responsibility across a culture. Social cohesion is the measure of connectedness and unity among groups in society, while social responsibility is the awareness of the effects of one’s actions on others. Research statistics show a rise in solitary lifestyles, excessive social media use, and acute political divide. More than 40 percent of marriages in North America end in divorce, and one-fourth of households are solitary.

Fortunately, even as an individual, it is possible to close this social chasm—by practicing interconnectedness—a cornerstone of collectivism. For instance, the Zulu tribe in Africa practices "Ubuntu," which translates into “because I am human, you are human,” enabling empathy and social cohesion among the tribe. During the pandemic, researchers discovered that interconnectedness led to an increased sense of social duty and pro-social behavior among people. Another crucial, yet cliched factor enabling cohesion is time spent with the community; yet, owing to increased working hours, social isolation, and screen time, family and community time have declined.

To counter this, collectivist cultures conventionally have copious ceremonies and festivals. The Indian festival of Holi is known for its vibrant (and messy) colorful celebration involving family and friends. Similarly, a higher emphasis on collectively meaningful activities can strengthen social bonds. However, family time need not always be this grand. Spain, which is mostly collectivistic, has the tradition of "Sobremesa"—simply relaxing and talking after shared meals to ensure family time.

Source: Pierre-Auguste Renoir/Wikimedia Commons, public domain

Giving Is Getting

Two millennia ago, when a Chinese disciple questioned his master on what principle he should base all his actions, his master, the Chinese philosopher Confucius answered: “What about ‘reciprocity’? What you don't like done to yourself, don't do to others.” Confucianism has become the foundation of modern Chinese and Japanese social thought, heavily emphasizing the role of social responsibility among individuals, essential for any healthy society. "Wa" is the Japanese concept of ensuring social harmony, teamwork, and prioritizing the greater good over conflicts, while the Chinese follow “guanxi”—expanding and maintaining a network of caring people.

A shift to hyper-individualism often undermines social responsibility: The current flood of hustle-culture, sole focus on material success, cutthroat competition, and glorification of busy schedules is alarming. Researchers studying prosocial behavior—the act of helping others, often selflessly—have found that people valuing their time in terms of money and productivity are often low on prosocial behavior. Charity, a very simple prosocial behavior, on the other hand, increases positive emotions and mental well-being among individuals cross-culturally—people are better satisfied when they spend on others rather than themselves. Perhaps coincidentally, Buddhist psychology presents a positive correlation between excessive self-importance and high neuroticism. Taking social responsibility need not be a monumental task; it can be small acts of kindness such as empathy toward others’ circumstances, helping others without them asking, standing up for others’ needs, or simply being present for others.

Arthur Schopenhauer, the 19th-century pessimistic philosopher, formulated the Hedgehog Dilemma as a metaphor for individual intimacy: Although two hedgehogs seek to nestle together on cold days for warmth, they cannot do so without hurting one another with their spines. Despite yearning to be close, they are condemned to remain afar. Although it might not be wise to lean heavily into any one of these behavioral philosophies, it’s still possible to find a Goldilocks zone between the self and society.