Managing Stress in Uncertain Times

with Sue Orsillo

Like many readers, we currently find ourselves in a moment where it is easy to feel stuck. The pandemic has pitched our already-busy workloads into overdrive. We are grieving multiple losses and witnessing the immense pain and suffering of those around us facing discrimination, financial insecurity, and isolation.

We chose this moment to make our first blog post, adding to our overflowing, out-of-balance plates, because we know from experience that the “right” moment rarely presents itself. And so, drawing from our 25 years of collaborative writing, research, and friendship, we hope to use this forum as a place to share suggestions that may help readers engage more fully in their lives. In this post, we offer three ways you might try caring for yourself during these stressful and uncertain times. Even when there doesn’t seem to be any space to try something new.

1. Recognize the reality of your current situation: Yes, we’ve reached the point in the COVID-19 pandemic when it seems normal to be wearing masks, separated from people we love, only hugging people in our homes, and spending hours a day on screens. This rapid adaptation to the demands of our current context was necessary, but it is not without psychological costs. As we continue on with our daily life activities in this dramatically different environment it can seem like we should be just as productive or attentive as we used to be.

But nothing is normal right now, and it’s important to remember that. We are all facing countless challenges. So many are facing illness, threat of illness, loss of loved ones, the need to balance childcare and online or hybrid schooling with work demands, isolation and loneliness, financial strain, racism and other forms of discrimination, systemic inequities, and injustices. All of these experiences naturally elicit emotions of fear, anxiety, sadness, and anger. They also trigger worries about the future can be distracting and interfere with our ability to engage in our lives.

Even if you are relatively fortunate enough to not be facing some of the more terrible stressors of the past six months (e.g., COVID-19 illness, layoffs, working in hazardous conditions, racist violence), you are managing considerable stress and disruption and it is naturally affecting your functioning in all kinds of ways. This doesn’t reflect a personal failure or shortcoming—this is the situation we are in.

2. Be kind to yourself (and others): Given this context (and, honestly, always), rather than beating yourself up when you snap at a family member, make a mistake, or forget to complete a task, be kind to yourself. Recognize that we are all struggling, and we are all imperfect.

3. Notice your experiences, allow your feelings, and make small but intentional adjustments: One of the kindest things we can do for ourselves is to stay in tune with our experience. Noticing the external stressors we are facing allows us the opportunity to bring compassion to ourselves and adjust our expectations accordingly. Making room for, rather than suppressing, our feelings allows us to move through them over time. Noticing what we are attending to and how we are behaving, gives us the opportunity to make choices.

• Find ways to notice how you’re feeling—check in while you brush your teeth, ride the bus, take a walk, fix dinner, switch from one task to the next, answer a text, and ask yourself: 1) What do I notice in my body? 2) How am I feeling? 3) What’s on my mind?
• Take a moment or two to acknowledge these thoughts, feelings, and sensations, recognizing that they are human and natural.
• Notice what your experiences might be communicating to you. Noticing sadness may suggest you need to make some time to grieve or connect with others. Observing stress and fatigue may be a reminder to find activities that are soothing or nourishing in some way to replenish your energy. Feelings of anger or helplessness may be a signal that acting to address an injustice or to be of service to others may be empowering.
• It can also be helpful to notice what you’re attending to and how it affects you in a particular moment—the suspense-filled series you used to find stimulating could be leaving you feeling drained and on edge. Checking social media in one moment may help you feel connected and engaged, and in another agitated and angry. Frequently checking in with ourselves gives us an opportunity to redirect our attention and energy in ways that are more grounding or consistent with how we want to be. For example, when our attention is focused on how people are harming one another, we can expand our attention to also recognize the ways in which some people are helping and supporting others, being just or kind.

Mindfulness practices can help us with all three of these steps—recognizing the reality of our situation, being kind to ourselves (and others), and noticing our experiences, allowing our feelings, and making small but intentional adjustments.

Everyone copes in their own ways, so we encourage readers to try out different suggestions and to pay attention to what works for them (we highly recommend this resource). Just continue taking small steps toward self-care and engagement in the midst of uncertainty and challenge.