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Relationships
7 Strategies for Finding Love Now That You’re Vaccinated
The vaccination seemed like the light at the end of a long, lonely tunnel.
Posted July 16, 2021 Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
Lately, I’ve heard many people asking if the post-pandemic summer of 2021 and the coming decade will be like a repeat of the 1920s — The Roaring Twenties 2.0, or the Roaring Twenty-Twenties, if you will. The comparison is apt. Then, people were just coming out of the 1918 influenza pandemic. They were happy to be alive and ready to experience life again.
Now that you’re vaccinated and free to meet and date new (also vaccinated) people, it’s time to brush off your dating skills or learn new ones. Start with these nine strategies for revving up your post-vaccination love life.
1. Identify What You’re Looking for. Ask yourself: What do I want right now? A serious relationship? Casual dating? Hot one-night stands?
According to a recent Kinsey Institute survey, 52% of singles say they’re now looking for a committed relationship. And those seeking the real deal are in luck. Sixty-four percent of respondents said they are less interested in having more than one partner at a time, 68% said they’re less likely to cheat, and 44% said that commitment itself is more important to them now.
If you were solo during the 15 or so months of lockdown, vaccination has been the light at the end of a long, lonely tunnel. Some singles went on socially distanced, masked dates, and others bided their time until it was safe to go out again. But either way, trying to date when kissing someone could literally kill you––to put it bluntly––sucked. Add to that the fact that every time you checked social media, you were inundated with photos of couples cuddled in quarantine together, binge-watching Tiger King or season 4 of The Crown, and that 52% number makes a lot of sense.
2. Get Yourself Date-Ready. Getting your post-vax love life started doesn’t just mean joining dating apps. Yes, you should do that, too. But giving your dating life a boost may take more than just downloading Hinge. If you’ve been wearing sweatpants for the past year or gained the Covid 15, consider freshening up your wardrobe a bit. All you need is one great first-date outfit to get going. A haircut will probably be on order, too, if you’ve been cutting your hair yourself for the past year. Consider trying a new look for the new post-pandemic you.
3. Test the Waters. Of the respondents to the Kinsey survey who’d tried dating via video chat, 70% said they’d continue to do so before committing to an in-person date. If you didn’t date at all during the pandemic, the brave new world of Zoom dating might be new to you. But, if that 70% number is accurate, you may have to familiarize yourself with it now. All you’ll need for this is a nice top and some good lighting.
Testing the waters before an IRL date isn’t just about not wanting to waste your time or money on someone you have no chemistry with. It’s about health, too. According to the survey, 42% of people are more likely to ask potential partners about their health status before sex. You didn’t spend a year and a half cleaning your groceries with Clorox just to get Chlamydia from someone you met at a bar.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Experiment. Much of the world may have shut down during the pandemic, but your mental and emotional development didn’t. You’re not the same person you were in 2019. If your answer to the question in strategy #1 – What are you looking for? – was “I don’t know,” it may be time to experiment. Your priorities may have changed in the past two years. Maybe your dating goal pre-pandemic was to get married and have kids, but after a year of being homebound, you think you may be looking for someone to travel the world with. Or maybe monogamy isn’t what you’re looking for at all. Nineteen percent of Kinsey survey respondents said they’re more interested in pursuing an open relationship now than they were before Covid. Polyamory and ethical non-monogamy are much more socially accepted now than they were just a few years ago. If that’s something that may interest you, be sure to add it to your dating profile.
5. Practice Radical Honesty. If you’re looking for a committed relationship but keep ending up on dates with people who are just looking for flings, consider adding something to your profile to make that clear to potential partners. And if casual hook-ups are what you’re after, be clear about that, too! Wasting your time on people who just want to keep it casual––or leading people on who want a relationship when you’re not interested in that––will just end in heartbreak, guilty feelings, or disappointment.
6. Open Your Heart Fearlessly. Whether you’re looking for a partner to spend your life with, a partner to spend the night with, or two partners for polyamory, don’t be afraid to be yourself and share yourself. Total commitment to reality and honesty supports the integrity of relationships, whether they be casual or long-term. Even casual dating can turn into life-long friendships. You need to be open and willing to share, listen, and understand. Get to know this new person or people and let them get to know you. With that intention, you will always keep learning and growing.
7. Learn a New (Love) Language. Maybe your intention to learn French during lockdown didn’t pan out, but there’s a new language you’ll have to learn now that you’re dating again: love language. If you aren’t familiar with the term, a “love language” is how you express and feel love. As you open yourself up to new people, a good way to get to know potential partners and help casual dating blossom into long-term commitment (if that’s what you’re after) is to ask your date what their love language is. The primary love languages are:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
If you’re a “quality time” person and they’re an “act of service” person, that’s okay! In fact, it’s great. Unlike French, you don’t need a fellow French speaker to practice learning this new language. Instead, you need open and honest communication. You can show your partner how much you’re growing to love them by doing something nice for them (an “act of service”), and you can see how much you mean to them by whether or not they carve out some quality time in their week for you.
Now, get out there and have some fun.
