Shifting From Bystander to Whistleblower in Spiritual Life

In later life, we can suffer from unconscious resistance and denial. This can keep us from becoming more self-aware and finding acceptance within ourselves—as we are. Personal growth and reaching authenticity takes work, but doing so will give us vitality and purpose.

Exploring our spirituality through the lens of psychology can help. This can deepen our understanding of our motives and our teachers' behaviors. An encounter between a charismatic religious leader, citing a long lineage of initiation into esoteric knowledge, and a naive Westerner, who is eager for spiritual experience, is not a meeting of equals. Together, they create an isolated world compared to two opposing cultures: A traditional, often patriarchal, feudal culture of the leader, steeped in blind authority, hierarchy, and secrecy, mixed with post-modern, white individualists, prone to question authority and support gender equality, consensus, and openness.

But in the unconscious shadows of those Westerners lies a desire to relinquish responsibility for decision-making and to follow someone who appears to be more evolved and hold answers to life's questions. In psychology, this transference describes the unconscious tendency to attribute traits about someone in the past, such as an ideal parent, to someone in the present, a therapist, a clergyperson, or a spiritual teacher. This leaves us in a subordinate position, open to blind faith and religious abuse. We may be looking for validation or belonging or a way to go beyond our psychological issues by doing spiritual practices ("spiritual bypass").

This is a perilous risk. Despite profound spiritual development or insight, the teacher may unknowingly experience counter-transference. He also has wounds, unmet needs, unconscious motives, and even a personality disorder. When he or she acts out a power, sex, or money shadow, either the transference breaks and the student falls into despair. Or the projection is reinforced by spiritual rationalization, and the student denies and compartmentalizes the trauma. ("He's enlightened, he could not lie." "She's so compassionate, she could shame people.") Secrets continue to be the glue holding the systemic dynamics in place.

To speak out and become a whistleblower is to risk it all — identity, meaning, community, beliefs, and hope. It also opens the door to breaking free of delusion, withdrawing the projection, reclaiming independent thinking, and reclaiming agency on our own behalf. And it means acknowledging that spirit or true nature or pure awareness is within us and in everyone.

This is a call to build spiritual relationships of mutual accountability and to teach moral development and spiritual integrity to both clergy and gurus, parishioners, and disciples.