7 Ways to Thrive on Valentine’s Day When Single

Source: Courtesy of Denise Robertson

Valentine’s Day can be an uncomfortable, tricky holiday if you're without a dependable date or mate (and wish you had one. Totally OK if you don't want that, too!). Perhaps knowing a bit more about the holiday's varied history can give you some freedom and creativity with how you celebrate it—that is, if you acknowledge it at all.

Obscure History

Valentine’s Day can be traced back to ancient Rome, but it wasn’t always as we know it today. The early origins are still debated: It may have evolved from a pagan festival, as an attempt to honor one of three saints, or a combination of both. By the 18th century, friends and lovers commonly provided simple tokens or handwritten notes to each other to commemorate Valentine's Day. Then, starting around 1830, comic, mean, and sassy communications became popular. These were eventually referred to as “vinegar Valentines.” (Who knew, right? Mean Valentine’s Day cards!) Then, with the origin of cheaper, mass printing around 1900, the holiday started evolving into what we know today—and what many have dubbed as a “Hallmark holiday.”

Notice the historic facets mentioned that don’t focus on romantic partners. You’re invited to think out of the box here. Then, you may find your own enjoyable, creative way to either honor the day or simply get through it.

Personalized Customs

Here are some fun revamps, opening up Valentine’s Day to more than just “lovers.”

1. Remember Valentine's Day cards from when you were a youngster? Find new, cheap, bulk children’s cards at the store or make them now. Give them out generously, such as to any cashiers, friends, strangers, etc. Watch the smiles happen. Those simple, innocent cards can feel fun to both give and receive.
2. Use Valentine’s Day to prioritize connecting with your friends or people who have made a difference in your life. Whether that’s through calling, Zooming, or sending a note, email, card, or text, reach out. Say hi. Life gets so busy that we put off telling people we care about that they mean something to us.
3. Think about the vinegar Valentines’ cards of the past. The mean ones sound mean, but maybe you can find something comedic or sassy to email or send to your acquaintances and friends. Brighten their Valentine’s Days, too.
4. Do something kind or compassionate for yourself. For example, write yourself a love letter. Thank your mind and body for all they do for you and your quality of life.
5. Do something kind or compassionate for someone else. Make it a point to spread kindness by the end of the day—whatever that may look like to you.
6. Throw a COVID-safe, small gathering. Theme it as pro-Valentine or even anti-Valentine. Play board games. Get your minds off the holiday and connect your hearts.
7. Remind yourself that it’s just one day, and it'll be done shortly. Your television, computer, social media feeds, and other media sources will soon stop cruelly pointing out that you're without a mate or a date on this commercialized holiday. Until then, what's one thing you can do for yourself or others that's unique, enjoyable, or special to you? Try it.

Any of these might help make a potentially empty-feeling day much fuller for you and anyone whose heart you might touch. And, in the end, isn’t that what it’s really about?

This blog is for informational purposes and not a substitute for therapy or professional advice.