Are You Having an Existential Crisis?

An existential crisis is when a person questions their existence and the meaning of their life. This can be a frightening experience, as one can feel completely alone and lost in a seemingly random and meaningless universe. However, it can also be a time of great self-discovery and growth.

An existential crisis may resemble the following:

• Are you questioning the meaning of your life or feel numb, empty, and unfulfilled?
• Do you have the feeling that everything you have done is meaningless?
• Do you feel lonely and lost, despite everything going well on the surface?
• Do you sometimes feel the compulsion to throw everything away and start over?
• Do you experience unexplainable sadness, guilt, and anxiety?

In a psycho-spiritual sense, an existential crisis is a call from our soul. It is the moment when our deepest self calls out to us or when we gain an understanding of what lies beneath consciousness. Here might have been truths that we had buried for years, and this is the time they all come back.

Carl Jung believed that the first half of our lives are devoted to developing our ego, while we spend the second half integrating the unconscious and becoming who we are. And the transition from the first half to the second half is often the trigger for an existential crisis.

What Constitutes an Existential Crisis

While there is no single, universally accepted definition, an existential crisis usually includes the following components:

1. The awareness of your mortality and the realisation that death can occur at any time.
2. Feeling nihilistic, that your life is meaningless.
3. Feeling anxious and lonely in an uncaring universe.
4. The feeling that one should not exist at all
5. Lack of purpose or meaning in life.
6. The conviction that one has chosen the wrong path and that everything one has done so far has been in vain.

What Causes an Existential Crisis?

Many things can trigger an existential crisis, from realizing one's investment has not yielded the desired outcome, a broken relationship, losing someone they love, a family breakdown, and losing a job.

Someone parentified as a child in their family of origin may be more prone to an existential crisis in midlife. Parentification means that there has been a role reversal in the family, where the child was forced to take on the role of provider for their parents and siblings too early, depriving them of the childhood they should have had.

Unfortunately, when children are forced into the role of parents, they are often denied the opportunity to explore their interests and develop their sense of identity. They are not given practical or emotional space to discover their joy and figure out what their lives are all about. After a long period of time, they may experience a spiritual crisis in which they realize that they have lived their entire lives according to their parents' needs and expectations rather than their true passion.

According to Jungian analyst James Hollis, many people spend their first half of life trying to achieve success or material possessions. But once they reach a certain age, they find that these things do not bring happiness or a sense of fulfillment. They begin to search for the meaning of their lives and start their journey to wisdom.

In an existential crisis, part of us finally gets tired of living for other people and wants to follow where our heart leads us. Ironically, it's about shedding things we have accumulated, peeling away the facades we have put on, and returning to our truth.

How can you cope with an existential crisis?

Some essential issues to address when going through an existential crisis are meaning, authenticity, self-knowledge, connection to others, and transcendence.

• Meaning is the belief that your life matters and that you have an essential role in the world.
• Authenticity is the sense of being true to yourself and living in alignment with your values.
• Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your thoughts and feelings.
• Connectedness with others is belonging to a community and having meaningful relationships.
• Finally, transcendence is the belief that there is something greater than yourself with which you can connect.

Here are some specific things you can do:

Identifying Your Values

As much as possible, find out what your values are and try to align your actions with them.

Think about what is important to you. What are the things that bring you joy? What is most important to you? Once you have a list of important things to you, try to think about why they are essential. What values do they represent?

Another way is to look at your life experiences. Think about the moments that were most meaningful to you. What did you do in those moments, and what values did you live by?

Finding Your Flow

Flow is that feeling of being in the zone, wholly absorbed in what you're doing. You're not thinking about anything else, just focused on what you are doing.

What activities make you lose track of time? What do you enjoy doing so much that you readily take on challenges with not fear but excitement?

Even if there is no immediate financial reward, trying to include what makes your heart sings in your life now has value in itself.

Redefining Success

As we progress through life, our understanding of success changes. We may start by seeking wealth and recognition from others, but as we grow older, we learn that these things do not always fulfill us deeply. Instead, we realize that success is about finding joy in what we do and being content with who we are.

If you close your eyes and imagine what an ideal day would be like for you in the future, what would it be like? What would you like to be doing, from dusk to dawn? Where do you want to be? Who would you want to be with?

What if, instead of external reward and recognition, you begin to make joy and fulfillment your metric of success?

Finding Your Ikigai

Ikigai is a Japanese concept translated as "reason for being" or "purpose in life."

Finding ikigai is a process of discovery. It's something that you find rather than something that you search for. You can, however, use some tips to help you on your journey.

First, think about what you love to do. What are your hobbies? What activities excite you?

Second, think about what you're good at. What are your talents and strengths? Can any of those talents be turned into a career?

Third, think about what the world needs. What can you contribute that nobody else can? Are there any problems that need solving? What would people pay you for?

When you can find one or a few sweet spots where your interest, love, skills, and what the world needs, you will have found your ikigai, this is not a quick fix but can offer us a direction of investigation when we face an existential crisis.

Learn to Let Go of the Absolute Need for Certainty

When we hold on too tightly to our need for certainty, we become rigid and inflexible. We are unable to adapt to change and unwilling to take risks. We miss out on opportunities and experiences that could otherwise enrich our lives.

Learning to let go of our need for certainty doesn't mean we become passive defeatists. It simply means rather than fighting against what is happening. We learn to yield to what is happening and make the best of it. It means accepting that life is full of uncertainties and embracing the unknown.

With this, you may be more able to invest in activities that bring long-term benefits rather than frantically jumping from one thing to the next that offers only short-term "solutions." If you can relax to explore a new future, your existential crisis might be resolved, and you will be rewarded with a new and broader horizon.

Transforming Through an Existential Crisis

To transform through an existential crisis and not collapse in it, we must learn to listen to ourselves and then invest in activities that align with our deeper desires, rather than chasing immediate results as though we are on hamster wheels.

This can be a process of self-realization in which people come to understand their unique place in the world. Through a period of deep transformation, we become aware of our thoughts, feelings, desires, and the unconscious aspects of our psyche. In the end, we may find a new sense of identity and purpose and find ways to express ourselves creatively.