Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Happiness

The 2 Skills You Need for a Great Life

Get inspired by others to unlock your true potential from within.

Key points

  • Self-regulating emotions and problem-solving are essential skills,
  • Being mindful of these skills and keeping them sharp makes a huge difference in the quality of our lives.
  • It helps to be inspired by those who remind us how to be calm and problem-solve.

I would happily debate with anyone that life comes down to these two crucial skills: 1. The ability to calm down and 2. problem-solving in the face of inevitable challenges. If you are reading this and feel like what I am saying is obvious, guess what? You are right.

Yet please consider the following:

  • As you read these words, Bill is losing his cool with his kids and will later regret what he said.
  • Kelly won't be going to work tomorrow because she just got fired for not being able to navigate work demands.
  • Brian is now single (and wishes he wasn't) because he did not calm himself with his newfound ex-partner.
  • Kim is using substances to self-soothe because healthy ways to do so are elusive to her.
  • Sean blames others and the world as a whole for their disappointments and consequent dissatisfaction because of their inability to manage their emotions and problem-solve.

Now that we have looked at some examples of problematic coping, let's turn to draw inspiration from the experiences of people who exemplify healthy self-soothing and problem-solving.

Emily Focuses on Staying Calm When Facing Multiple Demands

Consider the story of Emily, a busy professional juggling multiple responsibilities at work and home. When faced with tight deadlines and mounting pressure, Emily has learned to incorporate mindfulness practices into her daily routine. By taking short breaks for meditation and deep breathing exercises, she manages to stay centered and composed even during the most stressful situations. This ability to calm down not only enhances her productivity but also fosters a positive work environment where she can effectively collaborate with her colleagues to tackle complex projects.

John Strategizes With Problem-Solving to Stay on Course

Similarly, let's look at the example of John, an entrepreneur who has encountered numerous setbacks on his path to success in his start-up company focused on solar applications in drone technology. Rather than allowing failures to deter him, John approaches each challenge as an opportunity for growth and innovation.

Through strategic problem-solving, he identifies the root causes of setbacks, adapts his strategies accordingly, and perseveres until he achieves his goals. By remaining resilient and resourceful in the face of adversity, John has built a thriving business and earned the respect of his peers in the industry.

Sarah Models Patience and Self-Regulation

Moreover, the intersection of calming down and problem-solving is evident in the story of Sarah, a devoted mother navigating the challenges of parenthood. When confronted with tantrums or conflicts among her children, Sarah relies on her ability to stay calm and composed.

By modeling patience and emotional regulation, she creates a harmonious environment where her children feel safe to express themselves and resolve conflicts amicably. Through open communication and collaborative problem-solving, Sarah fosters strong bonds within her family and instills valuable life skills in her children.

Alex Mobilizes His Community

Furthermore, consider the example of Alex, a community leader dedicated to advocating for social change regarding homelessness-related challenges in his city. In the face of systemic injustices and entrenched obstacles, Alex remains steadfast in his commitment to effecting positive change.

Through grassroots organizing and coalition-building, he mobilizes community members to address pressing issues such as poverty, inequality, and environmental degradation. By combining the power of collective action with strategic problem-solving, Alex empowers marginalized voices and catalyzes meaningful transformation within society.

Closing Thoughts

In each of these examples, you can see the transformative power of calming down and problem-solving in action. Whether it's navigating professional challenges, overcoming personal setbacks, fostering harmonious relationships, or driving social change, these skills are indispensable for a fulfilling and impactful life. By drawing inspiration from individuals like Emily, John, Sarah, and Alex, we can cultivate these skills within ourselves and embrace the journey toward personal growth and self-discovery.

advertisement
More from Jeffrey Bernstein Ph.D.
More from Psychology Today