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Gone are the days when thoughts were expressed privately, penned out to "Dear Diary" or kept a book of secretly written poems, meant to be rejoiced in secretly, or shared with our love. Journaling as a form of putting our most private thoughts on paper, expressing our fears, concerns but also excitement, joy, and desires seems archaic.
What we do instead is get up, check social media, like or comment on other's profile, share a selfie, post on our amazing and exotic location or even the breakfast we're eating. Some people even post about their poop! Here's what comes up in the newsfeed: a friend posts about an exciting destination she's at, a selfie that expresses her sense of adventure, and enthusiasm for travel. Another posts a picture of his lovely family and children, beaming from ear to ear, celebrating the last festival that rolled by expressing his sense of tradition and family values conformance. Or a friend who celebrates his wealth, fortune and new promotion by posting a pic of his brand new car, all snazzy and jazzy.
How did we get here? And does anyone really care?
Apparently so. The US is the third-largest social network user base, only behind China and India. YouTube and Facebook tend to be the most popular social media platform used and among adult users of Facebook, around 74% visit the site at least once a day.
Ever wonder what the fascination about sharing parts of our lives publicly with others is about?
What is the thought that goes through our mind when we share with our 500 and growing friends, intimate aspects of our breakfast, lunch, dinner, or dessert; our home, clothes, library, kitchen and neatly placed belongings; our acumen at reading, running, cooking, yoga, and socializing, sporting our new haircut, lipstick, outfit, or our child's giftedness or beauty, or the new song that we simply adore. Our birthday, anniversary, the love we share, the Fendi bag or the wonderful breakfast/birthday cake your husband/spouse/children made for us.
Devoid of our sex life, we share EVERYTHING ELSE on social media (and some share that as well). Our desire for everyone to know how we are living and breathing, as well as a fascination with the ins and outs of others lives, has truly become an epidemic.
Do we pay heed to the fact what we post and project on social media says a lot about ourselves? Our insecurities, our fears, our inner self-worth and desire to be liked or envied by others. Or our self-deception, our distraction, our endless ability to want to see and show all that is good and great. The need to keep it exciting, different, charming, and most of all impressive. Let's face it-- Snapchat, Pinterest, Insta, and Facebook are great ways to brag about our otherwise dull and boring life.
At the end of the day, we have to eventually reconcile who we are and our relationship with our inner hollowness (however that manifests). That when we feel down or low, the number of likes and emoji's and comments about our beauty, charm and effortless grace (or that of our children) will only last as long as our attention span. That we will quickly move on to the next bigger, brighter and shinier object to quickly fill the void.
A "Happy birthday" message on Facebook cannot replace the sound of your voice or the thoughtfulness of hearing from you after a year or more. That a friendly face, or flowers, or a thoughtfully written message (remember those days?) can take us through our darkest troubles and sorrows. Or picking up the phone to ask someone how they're doing, speaks more than the polite yet distant IM, DM, or PM on chat.
Although social media is great for keeping us connected with others. The opportunity to find professional contacts, seek out an old friend and rekindle your relationship with them, or alternatively with random strangers who send you friend requests based on your story or profile pic! It's when social media becomes our primary way of communicating with others and a mode of self-expression that exists to please, flatter, convey influence or one-upmanship or obtain affection and support.
You know what that means if you frequently find yourself posting on personal topics, or liking, loving or commenting because you didn't want to offend a friend. Or responding to likes on your post on every comment made by friends, or when you see a post that is liked by all the "important" people in your life, and you get mad because the "friends" you thought were friends have overlooked your post/story.
The opportunity to have your own page or channel on social media has given us tremendous power to be creative. A platform to share content with and grow a community of clients and customers. Social media marketing has helped many grow their businesses and their brand when used for the right purpose and with intention.
So, the next time you feel an irresistible urge to surf social media or post your latest creation, take a moment to think about what it is you are truly sharing. Ask whether it is really something that needs to be shared with a community versus maybe just your family. Does it add value to the lives of others, or merely fulfill your desire to be seen or heard by others? If so, are there other ways to replace the boredom, restlessness, and sense of emptiness that your potential post represents. Review your methods of engagement. With others, and yourself. Bottom line: please think before you post/tweet/share or like. And definitely like this post!
