Overcoming Irrational Guilt

The new film “One Life” depicts Nicholas Winton's visit to Prague in December 1938 and January 1939, shortly before Nazi takeover of all of Czechoslovakia. He coordinated with humanitarians like Trevor Chadwick, Martin Blake, and Doreen Warriner to identify hundreds of Jewish children who needed safe homes. Upon his return to London, “Nicky” and his mother Babi Winton worked to procure the necessary paperwork, funding, and homes for the children. Around 6,000 people are estimated to be alive today due to the Wintons’ and others' efforts in the Prague Rescue.

Source: Derek Storie/Unsplash

The last train that Winton and his team organized was supposed to leave Prague on September 1, 1939, but Germany invaded Poland and set off World War II. The Nazis did not allow the train to leave Prague.

From the point of view of a psychoanalyst, the movie is about irrational guilt and the difficulty of forgiving oneself for something one has no control over. Winton saved almost 700 children, but he could not save the ones on that last train. The BBC talk show "That's Life" orchestrated a 1988 meeting between him and dozens of the “children” he saved. The movie implies that Winton was obsessed with the loss of the last train, and it was intrusive in his life. He hoarded every file and document related to it. We see his wife chiding him for all the old boxes that fill his office. Winton piles old typewriters and anything that “might be useful” in his living room to give to people who might need it. Despite his wife’s pleas to “let it go,” he was still grappling with his guilt; he could not forgive himself.

Many people suffer from irrational guilt, blaming themselves for things over which they had no control. For example, my patient Catherine feels guilty because her mother suffered a vaginal tear during childbirth from which she never fully recovered. In Catherine’s case, her mother kept blaming her for it. Patricia blames herself for her father sexually abusing her sister; Sal can’t forgive himself for his father’s physical abuse of his mother; and Kenneth blames himself for his mother’s suicide. In these cases, they were children and had no control over what their fathers did. Yet they cannot forgive themselves. What I have come to understand is that their guilt is related to a sense of power. Patricia, Sal, and Kenneth have a conviction that they had the power to intervene. To forgive themselves, they would have to give up their sense of control; they would have to accept their powerlessness. Horrible things happen and we have no control over them, especially if we are children.

Winton lived to be 106. Of course, I do not know if he was able to forgive himself after he met some of the grown-up children he had saved. He must have had a conviction that he was powerful to devote himself to saving Prague’s Jewish children. His conviction about his own power spurred him to organize a huge humanitarian effort, but when he was not 100 percent successful, he could not forgive himself. He felt he should have been able to save every child. Overcoming irrational guilt requires accepting the limits of your power.