Do You Suffer From Borderline Personality Disorder?

Patricia’s mother died when she was 10. Her father was left with her and her two sisters, he could not cope with their needs. He left the two youngest alone for days at a time, physically and verbally abused them, and tried to get them to take care of him by cooking, cleaning the house, and feeling sorry for him. Patricia feels it was not her responsibility to take care of her younger sister and her father when she was a child. The feeling of unfairness and the wish to be taken care of dominates her life. Patricia has borderline personality disorder (BPD).

The Difference Between Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder?

People suffering from borderline personality disorder experience emotional dysregulation – the inability to control unstable emotional states. They have rapid mood swings that change in a matter of minutes or hours. BPD is frequently mistaken for Bipolar Disorder (BD), but a key distinction is that those with BD experience longer swings between episodes of depression and mania, sometimes lasting weeks. BPD patients experience depression and hypomania, but the periods of elation are brief. Explosive periods of anger, joy, fear, and frustration make daily functioning difficult and the resulting unpredictability makes maintaining relationships challenging. Both groups fall in and out of love frequently because idealization briskly turns to contempt; relationships are turbulent. A major difference between BD and BPD is that in BPD the volatility is relational – extreme reactions to perceived or real disappointment with other people and or self. It is sometimes difficult to tell the difference between patients with BD and BPD because the person with BPD may not be conscious of what slight set off the hurt, rage, self-hate, depression dynamic.

Below is a series of questions that can help you determine if you have BPD. It is not meant to be scientific, but rather a guide to encourage you to seek help if you find most of your answers are consistent with that diagnosis.

1) I fear that my family, partner, or friends will abandon me, even when there is no evidence of it.

a) Most of the time

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Not at all

2) I get desperate and or furious when people close to me leave me even for a short period of time.

a) Always

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

3) My relationships with friends and partners are very emotional and troublesome.

a) Always

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

4) In my relationships with close friends and partners, I idealize them, and later, when something goes wrong, I hate them. These extremes in my feelings about people change frequently.

a) I strongly agree

b) I agree

c) I partly agree

d) I disagree

e) I strongly disagree

5) People find me too demanding in relationships.

a) Very often

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

6) I often think I’m a bad person.

a) Very often

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

7) I get angry easily.

a) Very often

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

8) I feel that everyone is against me.

a) Very often

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

9) I feel very irritable for hours.

a) Very often

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

10) When I’m very upset or angry, I hurt myself to calm down.

a) Very often

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

11) When I quarrel with close friends or partners, I threaten to kill myself.

a) Very often

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

12) I think of committing suicide.

a) Very often

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

13) When I quarrel with close friends or partners, I threaten to end the relationship.

a) Very often

b) Often

c) Sometimes

d) Rarely

e) Never

If you have answered more than 10 of the questions with a) or b), you might have Borderline Personality Disorder and it would be a good idea to seek psychotherapy. However, BPD is difficult to treat because it requires long-term intensive psychotherapy; the therapist must be patient and resilient. The borderline patient often challenges the therapist, accuses her of not caring, and threatens to quit treatment. The therapist must tolerate the aggressive and contemptuous behavior of the patient without retaliating. And of course, the borderline patient will sometimes act out their aggression and precipitously quit. Therefore, the successful treatment of a BPD patient may require several episodes of treatment with the same or different therapists.