Healing from Trauma: A Return to Your Essence

The following is a reflective and opinion piece of my own personal takeaways as a survivor living with dissociative identities who has spent the last decade engaging in healing practices to heal from extreme childhood sexual abuse.

Healing from trauma in my opinion is about returning to the true essence within the core of who we are. It is discovering the true YOU that lies behind the masks we might have had to wear to survive. It is understanding that your brain did what it thought it needed to do to cope with lies you might have been told or told yourself. Underneath the relief seeking coping strategies may be deep-rooted emotional pain within that is deserving of healing. I have personally found that expressing my truth through writing and speaking was a necessary component for my own healing process.

It is learning how to nurture the body, regaining and respecting its physical strength, being present in the body, and embracing both masculine and feminine energies. It is accepting your body's flaws with unconditional love and positive regard, while making healthy choices to support its longevity. It is respecting your mind and body for surviving the atrocities that may have been done to it. It is learning to safely express and release anger and shame stored within the body’s tissues.

It is about feeling connected to others and learning how to create a tribe of supportive and trusted warriors, i.e., people you love and trust (I know, two overwhelming words, "love" and "trust"), and it is possible. It is knowing you are not alone, but also accepting that it is okay to feel lonely sometimes. It is loving yourself, accepting yourself, and forgiving yourself for things you might have done in response to the trauma you endured. It is accepting and allowing yourself to receive love from others. It is granting yourself permission to be skeptical and cautious. It is being gentle with yourself, as you navigate building your tolerance for not only distress but for joyful and happy feelings too.

It is about asking for help, knowing that sometimes you will receive it and sometimes you will not; and if someone cannot help you it's respecting their right to say no, and not giving up looking for help until you can get the help you need. As adults it is understanding that you are responsible for taking care of you now. It is learning not to give your power away to the situations around you. It is learning interdependence, while challenging rigid independence and dysfunctional codependency and enmeshment with others. It is being okay with not having to be in control of anything and everything around you. It is learning to not take other people’s behavior personally. It is having and demonstrating empathy for others even when you disagree with their choices. It is being okay with saying "no," drawing your own lines in the sand, while setting limits and boundaries with yourself.

It is learning to connect with the light within you, perhaps by connecting with a hobby and finding, then embracing, your inner creativity (it is in there). All hobbies have some element of creativity. For example, expressive arts can help us express our deepest passions, pain, and desires. It is having connected and loving relationships with others, where boundaries are respected. It is laughing and being silly with your friends, family, and/or your family of choice.

It is trusting in something bigger than you, whether that is your faith, a higher power (HP), the universe, your spirituality, nature, etc. whatever it is for you to feel connected to and/or any combination of these.

As a human being, I am here to remind you that you are resilient. There are people out there that want to offer their love and support, but it is up to us whether or not we decide to accept it. Please know that you are a worthy and worthwhile person, simply because you were born into this world. Although you may sense an inner critic or shadow living within, it might just be longing for self-love, acceptance, non-judgment, and validation. You will return to your essence when all parts of you feel heard, understood, validated, and connected whether you are dissociative or not and the process really starts with you.

Healing from trauma is possible and is always in progress. I believe in you and in me.

May our journeys continue...

The information shared in this blog is not a substitute for therapy or any other form of professional mental health or medical care. It also does not constitute a doctor/patient relationship with Dr. Fletcher. The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only. If you are experiencing a crisis or need help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.