Verified by 
Key points
- Anxious people often fall prey to imposter syndrome, which can lead to perfectionistic behavior.
- Guessing what others expect due to anxiety can lead one to do unnecessary work or focus on low-priority tasks.
- Recognizing an anxious thinking bias in oneself can be enough to motivate behavior change.
We often think about anxiety causing distress, but it can influence our productivity too. When you understand the specific, common thinking biases, you can correct them.
1. You expect other people will say no or be upset or angry about your requests.
Today, I needed to ask my doctor to sign a form for me. I'd put off asking her to do it because I thought "she'll probably think it's a hassle" and "she'll probably label me as a pain in the butt." After several days of putting this off and feeling stressed about it, I realized I had no reason to expect she wouldn't be happy to do it.
Recognizing my thinking bias was enough to get it done. I choose to experiment and see how she reacted rather than making a negative assumption.
Note that even with all my skills, it took me several days to recognize the thinking error. It's ok if it takes you a while to spot your thinking biases, as long as you get there eventually!
2. You think you need to do an excellent job at everything.
Anxious people often fear that eventually their flaws will be revealed and, as a result, they'll lose their status or relationships. When people have this sense of imposter syndrome, they often try to be perfect in every way to stop their flaws from showing.
Chances are that if you think you have fatal flaws that will destroy your career, you probably don't. It's likely to be anxiety. When problems exist, it's probably possible to address them, and that they're not as catastrophic as you imagine.
Try recognizing that not everything you do has to be great. Many times, being adequate is enough. Be strategic about when you're perfectionistic. I like to apply the rule of thumb that I'll only be perfectionistic in about half of the situations in which I have that urge. That forces me to identify when it's important to excel and when it isn't.
When you try to be perfect everywhere, this will lead to procrastination and avoidance, rather than just getting things done.
Also, keep in mind that we're not perfect judges of ourselves. Work you think is excellent might not be, and vice versa. Give up some control over your image and allow others to form their own independent opinions of your work. They're going to anyway, no matter what you do.
3. You guess what others expect.
When you guess what others expect, it can lead to doing unnecessary work, or working on things that shouldn't be your highest priority (derailing you from your big goals.)
Anxious people often have perfectionistic expectations (see point #2). This is a type of what's termed should/must thinking, or what's humorously referred to as "musturbation." (I know this is crass, but the crassness can help you remember the concept. It's intentional!)
When we have a thought, we tend to assume it's true. For example, "If I think Sally expects me to do this 100% perfect the first time I try it, that must be true." We also tend to project our own thinking and standards onto others. For example, if we think perfection is essential, then we assume others believe this.
Other people might not have the same expectations you do. For example:
- A client may not expect you to overdeliver.
- They may not expect you to do work that isn't in the original scope without an extra charge.
- A colleague may not expect you to reply to their email the same day.
When you need to, set or clarify expectations rather than guessing what others are expecting or assuming. Many people find unclear communication more annoying than virtually anything else. If you communicate clearly, chances are other people will have reasonable expectations. If you know you're an anxious perfectionist, it's a pretty good bet your standards are higher than most other people's!
Similar to point #2, even when someone else has a high expectation, you not meeting it may not be the catastrophe you're imagining. For example, if they expected a same-day email reply, you could let them know you'll reply within a few days instead. People usually can be flexible in their expectations, when you communicate clearly.
When you learn to spot your anxious thinking patterns, you can prevent them from hurting your productivity and working relationships. This takes practice, but eventually, correcting your anxious thoughts will start to feel as reflexive as having the thoughts in the first place.
