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Anxiety

Name That Baby

Baby-naming consultants are the new fad.

A recent New York Times post ranting about parents who misspell their baby's name on purpose to be unique or trendy got me thinking about names in general and I discovered something even more annoying than the name Brittneigh; parents are now hiring baby-naming consultants. In a time when celebs are naming their kids Bronx Mowgli, Dusti Rain, Apple, Pilot Inspektor and Kal-el it seems non-creative parents to be who desperately want to think of themselves as creative or parents who are just too insecure to make their own decisions are now hiring baby-naming consultants to do the job for them. According to an article in The Wall Street Journal the professional baby naming business is booming. Anxious almost-parents are paying up to $350 for baby naming consultation that includes phone interviews and packets of name options with name histories, linguistic origins and personality traits, all information that is easily found online for free. The naming "experts" weed through millions of name choices and then deliver a handful of options that fit the parents' vision for their baby. Do they want a religious name like Adam? Traditional like Henry? Or trendy like Hayden?

A name is usually the first thing people learn about you and it defines you for the rest of your life, like it or not. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet but if it was called Toilet it would get ridiculed, so parents need to name wisely. Ethels are probably going to be picked on, Derricks are probably going to be too cool for school and girls with boy's names, like Justin, Alex and Max, are going to be the life of the party. One interesting thing about the New York Times post was the comments. Many people mentioned if they see a resume with a name misspelled they judge the applicant immediately and won't bring him or her in for an interview. Although it's not your fault if your parents named you Cerrah instead of Sara, clearly others will be turned off.

Naming a child can be daunting, and wise parents should avoid something too typical, John, too bizarre, Decible, and too trendy, Madison, because unlike Uggs you can't just take a name off when it goes out of style. It's been widly reported that the trendy name of the moment is Sookie because of the success of the HBO show True Blood. I'm surprised Godric isn't next.

Browsing baby name trends on the Social Security website to generate ideas or to make sure your child won't be one of 87 Ashtons in pre-school is a great idea, but hiring someone to help name your child is one step shy of hiring someone to decide what type of person they will become. Having a stylist pick out your perfect lipstick shade or having a landscaper decide what flowers should line your walkway is one thing but naming your child should not be left to a third party. It should be exciting and fun and most of all, personal. So save that $350 and sit down with your spouse or loved ones and pick a name that means something to you. And most importantly, pick a name you want to say eighty times a day for the rest of your life. "Sookie, go clean up your room!"

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