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Boredom

Countering "I'm Bored" Syndrome

When you're bored at work, with a relationship, or have a bored child.

Emichann, Public Domain
Source: Emichann, Public Domain

You're bored at work, looking up at the clock or thinking about quitting.

Or you're bored in your romantic relationship so you think about breaking up or cheating.

Or your child is bored at school, and so fools around or spaces out.

Those describe a number of my clients. I describe that as "I'm Bored" Syndrome.

Perhaps one or more of these suggestions will help:

At work

Jigger your job description. Perhaps you need to ask your boss permission, perhaps not. But think about what boring or otherwise distasteful part of your job you could replace with something you'd enjoy more or that would make you more productive.

Get better. Sometimes, we're bored because the work is too hard. So we sit making little progress, which feels boring. Or we do the task without the expert's nuance that keeps things interesting.

So do you need to improve on some aspect of your job? If so, should you watch a master? Have a master watch you? Read an article? A book? Take a short course, perhaps online?

Look for a more interesting job? Might you talk with your boss, some other higher-up, or HR to explain that you're wondering if you might make a bigger contribution in a different role?

If your current workplace is a dead end, should you put out feelers to trusted colleagues and friends? For example, you might say, "I've gone as far as I can go in my current company. I've done well but still feel like a cog in a large wheel. Might you know someone who might want to hire someone to lead a team of analysts?"

In your romantic relationship

  1. Brainstorm with your partner. Should you ask your partner something like, "I imagine you're aware that our relationship is getting a little humdrum. Any ideas on what we could do?" Perhaps it's just jumpstarting your sex life by setting aside more time for it. Or maybe it's to get in the habit of more deeply talking about your work day, politics, or even the meaning of life.
  2. Do more of the things that work. Think of all the things you've done with your partner. What have been most enjoyable? Yes, perhaps it's the aforementioned sex. But are there other things, for example, when the two of you were in a book club? Took adventurous hikes? Volunteered together? What else?
  3. Do more things separately? For example, my wife loves to travel but I don't. So she travels with friends. I like to write. She likes to cook. I like to hike. She likes to shop. Occasionally, we do those things together but usually not. Our 42-year relationship is stronger for it.

Your child is bored at school

PARENT: What did you do in school today?

CHILD: Nothing.

PARENT: You must have done something. What was interesting?

CHILD: Nothing. School is boring.

Many kids are bored in school because the work is too difficult, too easy, or yes, simply because it's boring. I don't know many kids who care much about the area of a parabola, the War of the Roses, or balancing chemical equations. Might any of these help?

1. Assess if the work is appropriate. Look at the child's textbooks and homework. Too hard or easy? Boring? If so, write a tactful note to the teacher such as,

Johnny is complaining of being bored and I've looked at hiss homework and if he got much wrong, it's because of carelessness or lack of effort, not because he couldn't do it. I'm wondering if you think Johnny should get more difficult work or even work he might find more interesting. I imagine you're busy and it's hard to find time to get him different work, but I thought I'd ask.

2, Get your child moved to another class? Teachers vary in their how well they deal with bright versus slow kids and simply how interesting they are. Consider meeting with the school's principal to discuss if a switch is wise.

3. Supplement. After-school options beyond the usual soccer and music lessons abound. Encourage friendships with inventive kids---Some children are more able to come up with fun ideas for what to do, from building rockets to fantasy role plays. Help your child pick fun edutainment apps and software. Here's a list of Amazon bestsellers. Or might your school, library, or even local college offer high-quality after-school or vacation programs?

I'm-Bored Syndrome is common but treatable.

Marty Nemko's bio is in Wikipedia.

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