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The time when your child always has to have the last word; when you observe constant angst and moodiness; and of course, when you regularly get the classic eye-rolling with major attitude in response to a simple request. You love your child more than anything, I know. But something’s different, right? Parents often wonder What happened to my sweet little boy who used to love to snuggle? or What happened to my affectionate little girl who used to think that I was the smartest, coolest person in the world? The famous Mark Twain quote accurately reflects how perspectives change during adolescence:
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
Around the time that your child begins the second decade of life, things start to change in a fairly dramatic way. She is entering the developmental period that has been coined the time of “Storm and Stress.” Adolescence is a time of important transitions for both the child as well as the parents. Some telltale signs that your child is transitioning from childhood to adulthood include: Pubertal development, accompanied by obvious physical and biological changes; Cognitive development, where teens really start to think in qualitatively different ways and begin to challenge the way others think and act; and Social development, where teens make decisions on who they spend their time with and how they want to define themselves. The purpose of this blog is to help parents navigate some of the issues that come up during this exciting and sometimes tumultuous time. More importantly, in addition to sharing both research-based and personal information, my goal is to challenge you, as parents of teens who may feel like your hair is on fire dealing with the emotional rollercoaster that your child has become, to focus on the positive things. So here’s the deal on this proposed Zen-like perspective: By looking and acting older, by questioning authority, and by wanting to spend every waking moment with friends (either in person or online), your teenager is simply doing his/her job! Yes, that’s right…by taking a step back (and a deep breath), we parents can help one another realize that the teen behaviors we all witness are typically indicative of the fact that our teens are doing what they should be doing at this developmental point in time.
In this blog, I will discuss important issues that are salient for teens and their parents, why they are important, what can be done, and end each post on a positive note so we can appreciate and embrace the teen years and all live to laugh about it!
