When You’re Feeling Hopeless

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. Go out and make some good things happen.” —Barack Obama

Even people with good lives can feel overwhelmed, even hopeless. For example, consider this composite:

It was just a small thing. My garbage disposal broke. It took a lot of effort to find an installer with good reviews who was available. It was 2:00 when he was supposed to arrive, when he called to say he’d be there at 3. Well, I had to pick up my child from school then. I didn’t want to cancel because the stuff in the sink would smell. So I frantically tried to find someone who would pick up my child but couldn't. So I put a note on the door begging him to wait for me. I raced back, afraid he’d leave. I arrived at 3:20 and sighed in relief—He was there.

I was exhausted though. That was just one more “challenge”on top of life's myriad others. I donned my friendly face but after he left, I just couldn’t make myself make dinner. I called out for a pizza and then just sat there staring, at the walls, at my lovely child doing her homework, waiting for my husband to come home from his stressful day. Tomorrow is unlikely to be better. My life feels not just overwhelming but hopeless.

Might any of these questions, borne of Obama’s advice, be helpful?

Source: No author listed, CC0, Hippopx

The Incremental

It seems that Obama wasn’t referring to teeny actions, but it’s tough to think big when you’re overwhelmed. So first, might any of these small fixes free you up for something bigger? Or just perhaps, small is beautiful enough.

• Might delegating help? For example, could you organize a parent carpool? Hire a personal assistant to do such tasks as wait for the repair person, do errands, and handle annoying paperwork? Could you hire an intern at work? Are you giving your child enough responsibility?
• Should you angle for a change in your job, perhaps a promotion or even a demotion? Up isn’t the only way. Some people find that they do better and are less stressed in a lower-level job.
• Is there room for something pleasant in your life: Yoga? Community theatre? A sport? A craft? Or simply a bit more quiet time by yourself or with your husband reading, watching TV, or hugging?

The Big

Might one of these add enough meaning to your life that you’re better able to tolerate life’s unavoidable mosquitoes?

• Is there a cause you’d like to focus on, either as a career or a vocation? A few examples: Get active in your political party’s local chapter or even run for office? Write an article or even a book? Give a talk at the local library? Organize an action committee?
• Would you like to start a business?

• Would you like to take more of a leadership role at work or in your community, for example, create and lead a team to advocate for an important initiative at work? Be the block captain for your Neighborhood Watch? Seek a leadership position in the PTA?

The Takeaway

It’s a cliché, but if you’re feeling overwhelmed, even hopeless, despite an ostensibly privileged life, know that you’re not alone and, per Barack Obama, it may not be hopeless.

I read this aloud on YouTube.