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Sport and Competition

In Praise of Seriousness

Upbeat is overrated.

Adhibat, CC 2.0
Source: Adhibat, CC 2.0

America likes upbeat people. Whether political candidates, workplace norms, or in social gatherings, cheery is rewarded, serious is denigrated: "Debbie Downer."

Much can be said in favor of being upbeat: Especially in challenging times, an optimistic view is usually welcome. And upbeat people make others and themselves feel good.

Who could argue against all that? I could.

Cheery people tend to focus on what's good and so are less likely to look for problems. And identifying problems is the necessary first step toward making things better.

Also, while perky folks attract friends more easily, at least in my experience, their conversations tend to be more superficial. Serious people appear to take others more, well, seriously thus making their conversation partners more likely to drop the mask and reveal what's really going on. And in nearly everyone, something is going on that's a lot more important than the sports score or the latest fashion. As the Chinese saying goes, "No family can hang a sign saying there are no problems here."

Serious people are not necessarily miserable or depressed. They simply walk the earth with a default position of soberness. Paradoxically, they may go through life with a greater sense of contentment and groundedness than do many chipper chaps. They're not saddled with the unrealistic expectation that life and most of its activities should be fun. Not only are they thus less likely to be disappointed, they're more likely to be willing to do the unpleasant but necessary tasks needed for success and for contribution.

Cheery folks, think three times before telling a serious person to cheer up. That can be perceived as invalidating their essence. And before you think less of people because they're serious, realize that a good case can be made for their approach to life.

The author's book, The Best of Marty Nemko is available.

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