Verified by 
In response to the exhaustion that this year has created, especially for communities of color, how can we take time to heal and rest? In the second part of this interview, Amber Nelson shares how we can practically take steps forward to create spaces of rest and resilience.
Dr. Amber L. Nelson (she/her) is an assistant professor of clinical psychology in the PsyD program at George Fox University. Dr. Nelson currently serves as the Director of Primary Care and the Director of Equity and Inclusion for the department. She clinically specializes in pediatric psychology with an emphasis on health disparities, specifically in Cystic Fibrosis and Sickle Cell Disease. She identifies as an inclusion and justice-oriented scholar-practitioner.
This is part two of a two-part interview with Dr. Amber Nelson; you can find Part 1 here.
Jamie Aten: In this year and time of hopelessness and exhaustion, what are practical ways we can "catch our breath"?
Amber Nelson: As I sit here in all my intersectional identities as a cis-gendered, black, Christian-identifying, female, psychologist intending to write about hope and resilience for BIPOC communities, I realize that hope and resilience is not what we need in this moment. Beyond the systemic changes that also need to occur, what we need is room to breathe. What we need is space to heal—space to reconnect with community and with self and body and soul.
We know hope, and we are the embodiment of resilience. What we need is to be seen by our friends, colleagues, and systems; for them to acknowledge that we may not be “fine” and may not be able to go about “business as usual.” I started this discussion with a professional mental health audience in mind, but I am ending it with my community in mind.
It is time we create SAFETY for our own well-being. SAFETY is an acronym that stands for:
S: Self-Care. First and foremost, self-care is not selfish. Most of us have been conditioned by culture to believe that if we take time to care for ourselves, that we are somehow being self-indulgent—when in reality it simply means that our needs are important too. So, give yourself permission to take care of yourself.
Self-care can come in a lot of forms like relaxation and relaxing activities such as yoga, meditation, creativity, aromatherapy, or time in nature. It can also mean tending to your physical needs including sleep, diet/nutrition, hydration, and even sex. Feed yourself well, exercise, get good rest, avoid toxins, do some good deep breathing, and find places that comfort, destress, and support you. Audre Lorde said it best, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare."
A: Ask for Help. Oftentimes, when BIPOC and marginalized individuals experience adversity, there is a tendency to lean into the “Grit-Perseverance-Resilience” paradigm—ignoring our needs, feeling alone in our struggle, and believing that we need to “figure it out” on our own. It’s important to note that feeling down, unmotivated, scattered, fatigued, not like yourself, and even depressed is normal. It is a normal response to trauma and major adjustments, and it is important to get the support you need to walk through it. It is not only okay to ask for help and support, it is imperative! Find therapists and groups that center BIPOC experiences where you can safely process racialized trauma and microaggressions.
F: Find Community. If this pandemic has taught us anything, it is just how much we need community and connection. Particularly for BIPOC individuals, finding or creating a space where you can connect with others who recognize, acknowledge, validate and share your experiences without explanation is invaluable. We look to our communities in times of pain for support, validation, and connection to aid in leading toward a path of healing.
Connecting to our communities has had to change in this pandemic—where we were once able to go to the preverbal or literal barbershop, we no longer have open access to spaces where communities of color congregate. Thus, it is important to be intentional with scheduling times to talk on the phone, spend time together in an appropriately socially distant way, or create virtual spaces where you can connect with others.
E: Engage in Activism. When there seems to be so much lack of justice and so much pain, hurt, rage, and sadness, it is easy to surrender oneself to the sense of hopelessness and inaction. However, it can be helpful to find places where you can channel your pain into action that creates change for yourself and others. Being able to see spaces where you can make a difference when so many other spaces require an overwhelming amount of systemic change, allows for moments of justice, and a sense of relief.
T: Tend to Your Whole Being. In times of high stress, particularly when experiencing high levels of battle fatigue, we are often reduced to one aspect of ourselves; one aspect of our identity. Our world begins to narrow—we begin to experience the world through one identity marker, and it can be easy to lose sight of the fullness of the “who” of who you are. You are more than your skin. You are a mother, a daughter, a teacher, a mentor, a creative, an outdoorsman—you are so many things, and it is important to nurture those aspects of yourself in times of adversity.
Not only that, but racial trauma affects all aspects of your being. So, tend to your whole being by supporting your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.
Y: “Yank the Plug” and Engage in Mindful Isolation. One of the major contributors to the ongoing and sustained trauma in BIPOC communities is the constant exposure to violence against black and brown bodies via media and social media outlets. The constant access to information and the unceasing coverage and viewing of this racialized violence means that there is never space for BIPOC to grieve or heal before we are re-exposed to the violence again. The trauma results from not only the graphic nature of the clips, but our sense of community, and the representative aspect of seeing someone who looks like your son, your brother, your mother, or you lose their life strikes a personal chord: “If it could happen to him, it could happen to me.”
While the reality and depth of the incidents do not go away, it is also important to intentionally disconnect from those trauma-inducing situations. Limit your exposure. It is OK to wait until you have the mental capacity before viewing videos and watching the news, or even chose not to watch the videos at all. You have the right to “yank the plug” and disconnect and instead engage in mindful isolation.
JA: What is a final word of encouragement you would like to share?
AN: To say that this year has been “difficult” or “unprecedented” has all but lost its gravitas. The reality is that we are living in a time of history that not only is impacting us currently, but will forever change the way in which we interact with the world around us. From the most rudimentary application of Bayes theorem, there is no “return to normal”—there is only a newly codified norm post-pandemic and post-George Floyd. These moments we are living in are history in the making. Some of those moments will be a breath of fresh air and cause for celebration, like the guilty verdict given to Derek Chauvin was for many communities of color. And, some of these moments will undoubtedly continue to uncover the insidious nature of systemic racism requiring ongoing individual and community care.
As we navigate this unfamiliar space, I encourage you to create and lean into SAFETY. In the spirit of the Maya Angelou quote, while we are forever changed by this historical moment, may we not be reduced by it.
