How to Cope With COVID-19

By Dr. Alice Schruba

Over the last several weeks, fear has grown surrounding the coronavirus (COVID-19) in both our collective society and local communities. Alongside fear is also the growing frustration surrounding our physical health and safety, our access to resources and medical supplies, our economy and jobs, and our free will and mobility. A common phrase among mental health professionals is that "an abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal." Concern around the coronavirus is not only natural but, to an extent, a healthy response. However, how you cope with them matters, especially when you may be unable to care for yourself as you typically would. Since we don’t know how long this will go on, rather than implementing quick fixes, it’s about doing life differently in a very different season to support sustainable self-care. Here are five things to consider when coping with COVID-19 from a holistic perspective.

Sitting with vs. sitting in: In a time of uncertainty, it is important to acknowledge our emotions. When we run from them or sit in them, we ultimately increase our pain and distress. If we can sit with our emotions by attempting to understand them, effectively expressing them, and maybe even accepting their presence, we allow ourselves to honor our emotions while moving through them. Think of a car stuck in deep snow. If you keep hitting the gas pedal, the car digs deeper in and further worsens the situation. But if you take a moment, take your foot off the gas, and get out to assess the situation, there may be a better tool or solution available. Emotions work the same way. At times, we need to stop what we’re doing, get perspective, and use a tool or coping skill such as journaling for five to 10 minutes, sharing them with others using “I feel” statements and speaking to your own experience in the moment, or even expressing them through art. In this rapidly developing situation, you are allowed to feel however you feel about COVID-19. Accepting your emotions around this situation allows you to have them and still function, rather than feel stuck or exhausted from avoidance.

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Controllable vs. uncontrollable: Extra time at home may mean extra time to think, worry, and ruminate about COVID-19. Our brains seek to solve problems that have already happened, haven’t happened yet, and may never happen. It is a process intended to protect us that often negatively impacts us. The goal is not to suppress your thoughts, but to reframe them and refocus on what you can address. Reframing our thoughts to a more neutral, grounded, and realistic perspective allows us to practice alternative ways of thinking about the situation and our experience of it. For example, shifting from “I can’t handle this” to “I’m doing the best I can in this moment.” Another way to shift your perspective is by identifying what is controllable and important to you and what is not using the quadrant method. By identifying what is important and controllable, you can think about how to address it (e.g., how long you watch the news). Looking at what is important but uncontrollable, allows you to acknowledge your concerns (e.g., what the government enacts). Assessing what is unimportant but controllable equips you to act if needed (e.g., what clothes you put on for the day). Lastly, acknowledging what is unimportant and uncontrollable provides perspective (e.g., the weather). By actively identifying, assessing, and reframing our thoughts, we allow ourselves to acknowledge what’s important while shifting to what we can do and how we can accomplish it.

Momentum vs. motivation: With many working and learning at home where they normally rest and relax, it is important to identify ways to get up, get moving, and keep going. The goal is to take action and engage in behaviors supportive of your physical, emotional, social, and spiritual health. Unfortunately, you may not feel motivated to do so. This is not to say, just do it, suck it up, or pull yourselves up by your bootstraps. Instead, the goal is to start somewhere and do something. Behavioral activation means identifying and taking tangible steps to help build momentum. As you build momentum in each action, you provide yourself evidence that you can do it and you can keep going. Practice makes pattern. Developing and maintaining healthy routines is paramount in the undefined time of COVID-19, as they provide a sense of structure, security, and consistency. Consider what routines and actions have aided you in the past whether that be having a morning routine, eating lunch, getting up and moving throughout the day, making dinner, exercising, or calling loved ones. Something as simple as standing up and walking once every hour or changing your clothes every day can act as a reminder of your ability to take action.

Connection vs. conversation: For some, COVID-19’s quarantining and social distancing means more togetherness while for others it means more alone time. No matter the side of the spectrum you find yourself on, it is important to understand when you are just talking at someone versus when you are connecting with them. True connection seeks to communicate that, “I see you, I hear you, and I’m with you.” It balances both actively listening and sharing. It may also, at times, involve setting boundaries and respecting theirs. Rather than reacting quickly, connection seeks to respond effectively. Approach your relationships with intentionality. This intentionality can come in the form of scheduled Skype dates, regular phone calls, or family mealtimes. This intentionality can also come through when and how you say what you say, such as choosing a respectful tone, not interrupting meetings, listening when they’re talking to you, or telling them you can’t talk right now. Social distancing doesn’t have to mean social disconnection.

Hope vs. hype: Faced more frequently with our own fragility, our attention naturally turns more to our vulnerabilities. At times, this can be helpful to keep us safe but can lead to feeling hopeless and helpless. Rather than falling back on platitudes, it can be helpful to actively cultivate and connect with hope and faith. Not to bypass concerns, but to actively consider what reminds you of the good in this world. What you focus on is what you foster. By actively identifying hopeful things, what you’re thankful for, what gives you faith in humanity, you remind yourself that there is something bigger, greater, and more transcendent than COVID-19. That is not to say that you must look for miracles, but instead simple reminders of life beyond COVID-19 such as a child’s love of bubbles, a dog’s happy trot on a walk, the sight of neighbors saying hello. There is much to be genuinely concerned about at this time, but it may be unhelpful to overly attend to it. Consider writing down what gives you hope, where you find strength, what you have faith in, or what gives you comfort. Reminding yourself of these things is just as important as washing your hands.

Taken together, attending to these areas of health support caring for your self from a holistic perspective. This is in service of sustainable health in these coming weeks as you care for your emotions, thoughts, actions, relationships, and hope. It’s important to understand, though, that each of these areas of health are not a checklist of things to accomplish or mark off. Rather, they are areas of health to check in with your self about. As you check in with yourself, please do so from a stance of compassion, not perfection. We all need time to figure out our new normal and our needs within it; have grace on yourself and others.

Dr. Alice Schruba, Psy.D., is a supervising psychologist at AMITA Health Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital and a guest instructor for the Wheaton College Humanitarian Disaster Institute’s M.A. in Humanitarian & Disaster Leadership Program. Clinically, she serves individuals diagnosed with severe and acute mental illness within individual, family, and group therapy services in addition to supervising psychological assessment and doctoral interns. Her research focuses on the impact of disasters on spiritual and psychological wellbeing, spiritual and emotional care, meaning-making, and God concepts.