Summer School: Strengthening Social Skills

The Fourth of July has passed and the second half of summer is in full swing. Students and teachers are away from the classroom setting, but as a child and teen psychotherapist, I find this break an imperative time to strengthen social and emotional regulation skills. With the release of the incredibly informative movie, Inside Out 2, which explored themes such as anxiety, puberty, and jealousy, as well as social-emotional learning (SEL) on the rise in school settings, this post highlights the importance of integrating SEL in schools, as well as practicing and promoting emotional regulation in your home this summer. Additionally, I want to emphasize the importance of teaching social-emotional regulation skills to adolescents due to changes in brain chemistry during this pivotal time, as well as tips for how to practice these skills during the summer.

Adolescence is a critical time for brain development, characterized by rapid growth and the creation of new neural connections as well as strengthening connections. During this period, the brain's plasticity is at its peak, making it highly receptive to new experiences and learning opportunities (Insel et al., 2019). Additionally, during adolescence, it has been found that adolescents experience emotions more intensely—both positive and negative emotions (McLaughlin et al., 2015). This high emotionality can be hard to regulate without learning the skills in how to do so. In adolescent brain development, there is the “use it or lose it” principle, which means that because the brain is going through a rapid “reboot," and strengthening neural connections the individual is utilizing often and weeding out the connections that are not using often (Siegel, 2014). I find this an important factor when thinking about teaching and reinforcing the importance of emotional regulation, relationship-building skills, and self-awareness. I am truly inspired by the SEL movement in the classroom, which tries to implement these types of skills into the class material itself.

So, what exactly is social-emotional learning? SEL is a learning model, in which schools integrate knowledge and skills to help students understand their emotions, feel and show empathy for others, and develop as well as maintain healthy relationships (Schonert-Reichl,2017). SEL has five core competencies: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making (Schonert-Reichl,2017). The effectiveness of SEL is highly dependent on both the teacher, as well as the school’s commitment to providing this type of learning environment (Schonert-Reichl,2017). As a child and teen psychotherapist, I find the framework and motivation behind SEL to be incredibly inspiring and hopeful with regard to teaching tools to kids. I am proud to say that in Long Beach, California, where I currently live and have my private practice, The Long Beach Unified School District has been exceptional in encouraging SEL in schools. Every middle school and high school in Long Beach Unified has a Wellness Center where students can meet with a social worker. According to the district, “The vision is to provide a range of resources to support students and families in meeting the challenges of adolescence through prevention, early intervention, and education, in a safe and convenient place—at school."

Now that I have introduced the concept of SEL, and an example of how one school district has incorporated components of SEL in their schools, I wanted to break down a couple of ways you can help introduce this skillset during summer.

Implementing 'Summer School' for Social Skills

Dr. Dan Siegel, who is an educator and author, coined the term “name it to tame it." This highlights the important aspect of naming your emotions (Siegel, 2012). Sounds easy right? But it can actually be quite tricky to do. As someone who works with children and teens in a clinical setting every day, I see the struggle firsthand when it comes to children trying to identify their emotions. One study demonstrated that affect labeling can reduce physiological responses to emotional stimuli, showing the potential for stress reduction and emotional regulation (Kircanski et al. (2012). This may sound simple, but it may be hard for adolescents to identify with the ability to articulate their feelings. My advice is to try and find TikTok videos, TV shows, or movies that your kid likes, and talk about a character in the media source. You can introduce the concept of feelings like, “How do you think they felt when that happened”? Also, music is an effective way to connect with many of my clients. Have your child make a playlist for each feeling, like a sad playlist or a happy playlist. This can help them apply the concept of emotions into actions.

Another "summer school" theme I wanted to touch on would be healthy friendships in adolescence. Research has shown the impact that healthy friendships have on teens' emotional, social, and academic development, highlighting the importance of building positive peer relationships. Adolescents with high-quality friendships were better adjusted, had higher self-esteem, and were less likely to experience depression and anxiety(Bagwell, Coie, Terry, & Lochman 2000). In your home, I recommend you as the parent model what a healthy relationship is with a friend of yours. Tell your child about the importance of a specific friendship you have, and how you both equally show up for each other. I would also encourage you to get to know your child’s friends and suggest that you take them somewhere (the beach, the mall, etc.). Even if they roll their eyes and do not want you to come, you are the parent. You can take them to do an activity and get to know your child’s friends in a warm and compassionate way (asking questions about their interests, family, etc).

Social-emotional learning has proven to be an effective approach in schools for teaching these crucial skills and fostering emotional regulation in students. Use this summer as a time to model healthy relationship skills as well as how you regulate your emotions. By embracing positive coping and regulatory strategies, we can support the ongoing growth of our children, equipping them with the tools they need to navigate the complexities of adolescence and beyond.