Can a Dog, Cat and an Octopus Protect Me From Narcissists?

Source: Photo by Zen Chung from Pexels

Narcissists operate from the perspective that life is all about them. Actions and interactions are all about winning. They don’t care about others and manipulate those around them to get what they need: attention, admiration, and affirmation. These three A’s are called the Narcissistic Supply.

Sometimes it is easy to forget that narcissists are very different from non-narcissists. Regular people may never truly understand the narcissistic modus operandi.

As a reminder, I suggest you keep the following metaphors in mind.

Dog

You walk in a park at a leisurely pace. Birds are singing, the sun is offering that nice warmth, and you feel good. A dog comes your way, wagging its tail and looking up at you with soft brown eyes, begging for a stroke. You bend towards the dog and start rubbing around its ears. He seems to like it. But then, totally unexpectedly, he opens his mouth, shows his teeth, and bites you in your arm.

Ouch. That hurts.

You are bleeding and make your way home to get the wound cleaned. Gone is the good feeling.

A day later, you walk in the same park and try to forget about the dog bite from yesterday. You want to feel relaxed. The same dog comes your way, wagging its tail, looking up sheepishly as if he wants to apologize for what he did to you. He is begging you to stroke him. You reluctantly give in. After all, he looks so cute and he might just have had an off-day yesterday. And then it happens again. He turns around and bites your calf before he runs off. You thought the bite from yesterday was painful, but this one really hurts.

You limp home, ask your friend to take you to the doctor and get your wound properly cleaned and stitched.

A week later. You walk in the park again and the familiar dog comes your way.

What would any sane person do? Stay away from that dog knowing it can’t be trusted.

A narcissist is like that dog, behaving friendly and being approachable, asking for attention, and then, when you least expect it, hurting you each time you are willing to forgive and offer another chance.

Cat

Cats love to play with anything that moves and squeaks. That’s why they are so fond of mice. They catch a mouse and bring it into the house. Then they let the mouse loose, where they know it can’t escape. And they wait, patiently, until the mouse believes it is safe and carefully tries to move towards freedom. The escape will be short-lived, as the cat will hit the mouse, enjoying the squeaks and waiting again for the next move.

The cat is not going to kill the mouse because that will mean the end of the fun. It will keep the mouse alive and kicking as long as possible. The mouse is totally at the mercy of the cat.

A narcissist will create situations where you scream with frustration, asking yourself how they could say or do certain things, wondering what is going on inside their head, and feeling powerless. A narcissist is in control and will keep the game going as long as you give them the satisfaction they crave by feeling frustrated, angry, and helpless.

Octopus

An octopus has eight tentacles with suction cups they use to grip their prey and to move.

Imagine a narcissist as an octopus. You open up to them, feel soft and loving and they enter your chest, getting a grip on your feelings and emotions. After they have occupied your heart space they start to travel upwards into your head. Here they suck out everything from you: your thoughts, logic, confidence, and more. Then they replace this with everything they choose: their thoughts, logic, and toxins. You have become unrecognizable to yourself and others. You have lost your identity and become a shadow of your former self.

Often it is easier to remember a metaphor or a story rather than a theory.