How to Stop Overthinking and Live Your Life

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Most of us have felt stuck in our heads, replaying certain situations or interactions in our minds, wondering about what we should do, and weighing all the options. This is called overthinking.

When working with clients who engage in overthinking, clinicians commonly use the term “rumination.” This refers to the practice of spinning thoughts in our head repeatedly, without ever coming to a conclusion. But whether we like to call it overthinking, rumination, or obsessive thinking, it’s not productive, and it can affect our mental health. Although many researchers have studied overthinking, and clinicians assist clients in attempting to overcome this challenge, it continues to plague millions of people, because when we are in the midst of it, stopping seems impossible.

Cognitive behavioral therapists tend to agree that strategies such as distraction are only temporary solutions. We can shift our focus from the topic on which we are ruminating, but inevitably our mind gravitates back to it later. Therefore, this is not a long-term solution for breaking the cycle of overthinking. Contemporary research and clinical practice emphasize the importance of mindfulness, which actually changes the way that we think about our thoughts. That’s right, we can think about the way we think, and in doing so, we will think less about thoughts that result in emotional distress and prevent the constant spin cycle that our brain creates when we overthink.

Mindfulness is the process of acknowledging thoughts, allowing them to exist in our brains, and letting them go. Often, when people think of mindfulness, they are thinking about mindfulness meditation, which is a wonderful practice, but is a specific example of how to incorporate mindful practices. We can engage in mindful thinking whenever thoughts come to us and we are tempted to run with them and imagine all sorts of scenarios.

For example, if we are thinking about the way we interacted with someone recently, we may start a ruminative pattern of wondering whether we did or said the right thing, what they thought about us, and how we should have behaved differently. This thought pattern may lead to hours of deliberation over what we did wrong. The end result may be feelings of guilt, sadness, or frustration. In contrast, the mindful approach to responding to thoughts about how we behaved would allow the negative or critical thoughts to exist rather than trying to push them out with responses such as “there’s no way for you to know whether you did the right thing,” or “don’t worry about it, it was fine.” This type of reassurance often leads to even more rumination and the need for more reassurance. The mindful approach would not directly respond to specific thoughts, but it would instead acknowledge the thoughts and recognize that they are just thoughts. They cannot be proven or disproven in this case. Not every thought is of equal value. Thoughts alone are not facts. Therefore, we acknowledge that we have them, and then we let them go.

This is not a simple process, and it’s not easy to shift from overthinking to mindful thinking. But it can be freeing to remind ourselves that thoughts themselves do not have power. We only give them power when we believe they could be true and we need to do something about them. Sometimes, we can handle situations differently. But continuing to ruminate over how it was handled previously does not change anything. We don’t need to keep thinking the same thoughts repeatedly to remember them or to change our behavior in the future. Continuing to cycle through our thoughts produces anxiety, and often depression, if we begin to feel helpless as we ruminate and re-live our experiences.

I often tell clients that the first step to break the cycle of overthinking is to think about what a thought is. A thought is a message that our brain gives to us to provide information. Some thoughts are wise while others are ill-conceived out of fear or other negative emotions. We must ask ourselves if repeating negative thoughts, and drawing conclusions from them, provides us with something positive. Spending too much time in our heads, reviewing our thoughts and repeating them, ultimately makes us feel stuck. Our brain may shut down and be unable to solve problems or create more productive positive alternatives. Taking a break from thinking can be helpful, but remember that this is only a temporary solution. Ultimately, breaking free from overthinking involves a paradigm shift in the way that we engage our thoughts. They are not automatically true; they are hypotheses at best. Rehashing them prevents us from making decisions and moving forward.

The next time that you catch yourself overthinking, ask yourself these questions:

1. Are these thoughts helpful?
2. Will they change the outcome in some way?
3. Do I need to respond to them right now?
4. How am I feeling as I’m thinking about this?
5. Is there something I can do to resolve this dilemma?

Reflecting on our thought process is another way to engage in mindful thinking that can help break us free from rumination. Our goal in asking questions is to help us understand that continuing to repeatedly think the same things is not only counterproductive, but it can be harmful to our well-being.