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6 Ways to Avoid All-or-None Thinking About Your Health Habits

Holiday times in particular often derail the best of intentions.

A new study just crossed my desk that, as gratifying as it was to have concrete data, struck me as one of the least surprising findings I've seen in a long while. Specifically, a survey by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center found that Americans report that they find it difficult to get adequate sleep, keep physical activity up, and eat healthily during the holiday season. That certainly tracks with what I see personally and professionally!

In the survey, a third of participants reported drinking more alcohol during the holidays, two-thirds of participants reported overindulging in food, nearly half reported taking a break from exercise, and more than half reported feeling tired and having less time for themselves.

I can guess what you might be thinking: Perhaps it's surprising that there are people out there who are not reporting this overindulgence!

But this raises an important point. Overindulgence is baked into (even literally) the holiday season. Festive treats are rarely particularly healthy, parties and gatherings increase the number of opportunities to drink alcohol, and there simply isn't as much time to get adequate rest or exercise when social demands are among the highest of the year. In fact, the very roots of December holidays—even dating back to celebrations of the Winter solstice—are synonymous with going all-out. This not only makes them special and different from regular days, but it symbolically represents what the celebration's origins were about in the first place, at least in the Northern Hemisphere: filling ourselves with light, food, and revelry in order to withstand the dark and lean days of winter to come.

So, there's nothing inherently wrong with letting go of our usual health habits for a discrete period of time at the end of the year. But the tricky part comes in making sure that it doesn't lead to a feeling of helplessness or giving up, permanently derailing our health habits for the next eleven months. This usually is connected to all-or-none thinking: the "I've already blown my eating plan for the day, so I might as well have all the cookies" mentality that often stops the best of intentions, wrecks the most established of momentum, and ends up making us feel mentally down.

Do you recognize yourself in this pattern? If so, here's how to take control and lessen the damage that all-or-none-thinking can do.

1) Label when you have the all-or-none distortion

As with any cognitive distortion, the first step in combatting it is recognizing it and acknowledging that it is a distortion. You may be so used to thinking in all-or-none ways (more on how to try to catch yourself here!) that you don't even notice it. You need not try to eradicate it altogether. The most important thing to do is to recognize it and call it what it is: invalid. Don't be afraid to talk to yourself about your thought patterns, as hokey as this can sound. It really does help. ("I'm having the thought that because I ate so many sweets at the party last night, it's not worth having a healthy breakfast this morning. That's all-or-none thinking, and it doesn't make much sense and isn't helpful to me, and I know I'll actually feel better if I eat my typical nourishing breakfast.")

2) Remember that a "blank slate" can happen any time of day

So many times, all-or-none thinking thrives on the idea of putting off a "fresh start" until the next day, the next week, or even the next year (especially around the holidays.) But if you decide that you'll just completely wipe the slate clean at some future time, then it gives you no motivation to show any moderation or balance in the meantime. If you are someone who really needs the "blank slate" idea to adopt or re-adopt a healthy habit, remind yourself that it need not have anything to do with the calendar or the clock. A blank slate can start at 4:29 pm, or even in the middle of a holiday party.

3) Remind yourself that flexibility is a strength in and of itself

Rigid, all-or-none, and perfectionistic thinking are often associated with all kinds of psychological problems. They can set unrealistic expectations, lead to anxiety and depression, and contribute to learned helplessness. Remember that flexibility is a strength, and being able to bend may very well keep you from breaking. And never is this more true than while managing deviations in your usual health behaviors. Don't view any of them as a screwup, or something that you should have shame about. Instead, think of them as a way to maintain balance and flexibility overall.

4) Don't think of all your health habits as one single thing

All-or-none thinking gets even more problematic (and more all-or-none!) when you lump all health behaviors together. Often during the holidays, our overindulgence with alcohol means we don't bother to work out. Or all those cookies from the office kitchen means that we don't feel like spending the time preparing our usual greens for lunch. But health habits are not a monolith. It is perfectly okay to let one habit slide for a bit during the holidays, but does that absolutely mean you should let all of them slide? In the latter case, you are more likely to feel shame and helplessness—and, perhaps most important of all, you'll be going without all of the things that usually help you feel mentally and physically healthy, sending you spiraling further.

5) Watch for negative self-talk and judgment

One thing that feeds all-or-none thinking is a sense of harshness toward yourself. Beating yourself up, imagining that you've "failed" or that you lack some fundamental willpower needed to keep up your healthy habits doesn't help you in the least, and these patterns represent cognitive distortions in their own right. Just like with all-or-none thinking in general, so many of us have negative self-talk that is so automatic that it tends to be almost unnoticeable. It seeps into our mindset in a way that we don't even catch. So, try to observe your thoughts that are not being kind to yourself and distance yourself from them when you can. Of course, you need not beat yourself up about beating yourself up. Just recognize it is a natural tendency—but one that does not deserve to be listened to.

6) When you do indulge, let yourself enjoy it

If you're going to engage in activities that are meant to be pleasurable, they may very well be wasted if you're just feeling guilty, helpless, or angry at yourself as you do them. Take a breath and actually let yourself delight in that fudge. Try to pace yourself with your drinking and notice how the champagne feels on your tongue. Celebrate the fact that you'll have that cheese platter you always look forward to—and let yourself be mindful as you revel in it. You just might end up being more satisfied that way, and it will help you avoid feeling down on yourself, which would defeat the purpose of letting yourself celebrate.

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