Do You Know How to Bounce Back From Life’s Challenges?

No matter our age today, we're all growing older every day. This is simply a fact of life. The question becomes—How can we live our best lives? How can we flourish and thrive with resilience in this season of our lives?

Many of us are finding ourselves in the "second half" of life. Midlife and beyond are filled with infinite possibilities for maximizing our strengths and potential, seeking meaning, new learning, and the next steps.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, baby boomers, who began turning 65 in 2011, will all be over 65 years old by 2030, and by 2050, the population 65 and over is projected to be almost double what it was in 2012 (U.S. Census Bureau, 2017).

In recent years, the interest in adult developmental transitions has exploded with new terms, including the third act, second beginnings, second half of life, longevity, and renew-ment. These concepts provoke a renaissance for envisioning the process of growing older. In contrast to the negatively-biased stereotypes of simply getting old, the new paradigm conceptualizes the second half of life as a time of remarkable opportunities for growth and deepening, emotional and spiritual development, increased freedom, and engaging life in ways that amplify purpose, authenticity, and the wisdom acquired with experience.

Source: Daniel Nebreda/Pixabay

Research by Laura Carstensen, Ph.D., Director of the Stanford University Center on Longevity (Mather & Carstensen, 2005), suggests a "positivity effect" as we grow older. Carstensen reports that older people tend to be happier.

As people see their future time as more limited, they are more likely to focus on feeling good in the present moment and tend to experience fewer negative emotions. Carstensen says when she delivers lectures to undergrad college students about the positivity effect, she tells them that the best time in their lives is yet to come.

A key factor for thriving at any stage of life is resilience, the capacity to bounce back from life's challenges. Resilience skills help us adapt effectively as we face challenges, stress, and difficult experiences. These skills empower us to figure out what we can change, and what we can't, and do what we can to live as full and active a life as possible.

For each of us, the answers are different, but some commonalities point toward strategies for living more resiliently in the second half of life. According to the National Centenarian Awareness Project, some commonalities include: being physically active, having a network of social contacts, a sense of humor, personal courage and strong will, a tendency toward optimism, and an ability to be adaptable in life (Adler, 1997-2017).

8 Tips to Strengthen Resilience:

Midlife and beyond can be a time of tremendous personal growth—expanding and blossoming toward new possibilities. Here are a few ideas:

1. Build relationships. Getting involved in relationships and building social connections really matters. Engage with friends and family. Become involved in groups and communities. Seek and foster relationships in which you feel that you can count on other people, and they can count on you.

2. Speak less and listen more deeply. Listening quietly and attentively can improve your relationships, helping you be more aware of what's happening with other people and enabling them to be heard.

3. Savor the good stuff. Pause and take notice of life's small pleasures. Paying attention to even the briefest moments of joy offers opportunities for renewal. Savor the first flowers of spring, watch the sunrise, notice each bite of your meal, take a moment to offer kindness to a friend or co-worker. Surround your living space with photos of loved ones and happy times.

4. Seek meaning and purpose. Let a meaningful or challenging event help you prioritize what's truly important to you. Sit quietly and notice what the inner part of yourself is saying.

When you have a few free moments, write down what you feel is your purpose in life—what you believe is truly significant. Re-evaluate aspects of your life and make changes as you can.

5. Continue to learn. There are lots of ways to continue to learn. Practice a new skill at home or at work. Learn to dance, to cook, or fix basic household problems. Take a class on-site or online. Embrace that hobby you've been thinking about. Begin learning a new language.

6. Solve problems actively. If the way you approach a problem isn't working, try a new strategy. Identify the problem, brainstorm ideas for solving it, take a look at each of the possibilities, and decide which strategy to try first. Seek relevant information, be flexible, and talk with people you trust as resources.

Resilience Essential Reads

The Complex Profile of Resilience

A Surprising Path to Resilience: Your Gut

7. Take care of your physical health. Be physically active. When you begin an exercise regime, remember to start slowly and gradually build toward your goal. Check-in with your health care professional on a regular basis and as needed when you begin a new exercise program.

8. Manage your reactions to stress. Relaxation strategies, such as focused breathing, mindfulness in which you focus on what you are doing at this moment, meditation, or guided visualization, can be helpful for managing reactions to stress (Kabat-Zinn, 2012; Salzburg, 2010; Willard, 2016).

**This post is for educational purposes and should not substitute for psychotherapy with a qualified professional.