Verified by 
Key points
- Some people become anxious when they can’t understand something. Others find the unknown appealing.
- Differences in our response to uncertainty help explain much about our personalities and our beliefs.
- You can understand others better by evaluating how well they (and you) tolerate uncertainty.
On a trip to the north of India, I had a guide who told our group reincarnation stories. He said it explained why children know things they’ve never been instructed or behave in ways that eerily echo their long-gone ancestors.
As a scientist, I reacted with skepticism. Yet, belief in reincarnation has persisted for centuries in many religions. It is central to how many humans view their world.
Our spiritual and mystical beliefs, like reincarnation, often provide us with paths to handle life's uncertainty. And certainly, today, everyone is grappling with disquiet, from elections to armed conflicts and social unrest. Voices are loud. Boundaries have hardened.
Neuroscience has some insight into our situation. Bore deep into complicated beliefs, and you will find that tolerance for uncertainty guides our actions and reactions. Understanding this more deeply may help foster, if not harmony, less derision and hope for achieving empathy.
Different People, Different Beliefs
Back home from India, I spent time talking with a biologist friend about epigenetics, the study of how environmental factors and behaviors can affect how genes work.
It sent my mind reeling back to my guide’s discourse on reincarnation. Epigenetics may not account scientifically for ancient beliefs in reincarnation, but it helps demonstrate a kernel of difference among human beliefs.
Some people become anxious when seeing or hearing things they can’t comprehend. They seek explanations that make their world coherent and less mystifying, even if it means making up a detailed belief in reincarnation if only for things to seem orderly.
Others see something they don’t understand, such as children’s behavior that awakens echoes of ancestors, and merely say to themselves, “This is intriguing.” They tolerate the mystery and the unease this phenomenon may stir.
Divergent Responses to Uncertainty
Our brains are geared to minimize uncertainty. Much cortical machinery is dedicated to approximating the future. How would I feel if I had that chocolate cake? What is going to happen in my job interview? How will I find my car when I finish my errands?
Mundane but practical questions pop into our minds moment-to-moment, consciously and subconsciously. They usually have an answer. Almost every decision we make is preceded by a mental cost/benefit analysis to make the outcome more certain in advance.
We often know what to expect because we have experienced similar situations. We stuffed ourselves with cake, only to suffer a stomach ache. Our memory serves as our preparation for the future, reducing uncertainty. But what happens when certainty is diminished or lacking altogether?
This is at the heart of how we differ.
How easy or difficult is it for you to heed the advice of a stranger who offers help in a foreign city, taste something you’ve never had before, or enjoy a surprise? Whether the unknown sends a shiver of excitement through you or invokes a feeling of dread has implications for how:
- Open you are to people from outside your immediate social group.
- Conservative you are in thought and action.
- Much you feel you must be in control of situations.
- You respond to change.
This trait of handling uncertainty goes a long way toward explaining you. It can also help you better understand what’s going on in the minds of people whose views and actions you find confounding.
The ‘Explorer’ or ‘Exploiter’ Question
Some of us are “explorers” who accept risk if it means learning or experiencing something new and are open to opportunities even when the outcome is unclear. Others are “exploiters” who prefer the comfort and safety of the familiar and resist unknown prospects.
There is no right or wrong inclination. The same person can be an explorer in some situations and an exploiter in others. Also, our state of mind is not hardwired; rather, we have some “wiggle room” for adjusting it with some simple practices.
Nevertheless, it is significant that one's attitude toward novelty and change in smaller things, such as food and music, radiates to how we think and feel about abstract and conceptual uncertainties.
We should recognize that our views, whatever they are, are built on basic, primitive elements, such as how we approach or avoid the unexpected. We should ask ourselves where we are on the spectrum of tolerance for uncertainty and recognize that others fall elsewhere.
Today, polarized beliefs often seem to divide us into different species. Sometimes we struggle to understand even the views and actions of family and long-time friends.
However, one explanation lies in peoples’ differing approaches to uncertainty. Understanding the source of disagreement can make it easier to consider what makes the other side believe what they do.
For example, you wouldn’t push someone who is afraid of heights to climb El Capitan or hold it against him when he is reluctant, would you? Would you be surprised when your friend refuses to stick her arm into a hole in the ground to find out what’s below?
Similarly, can we get angry at someone who defies conventions because she wants to explore new alternatives? Or a relative who makes irresponsible financial decisions because he prefers high-risk, high-gain investments?
When others don’t share our beliefs, it is partly because they do not share our comfort or discomfort with uncertainty.
Look at Differences Through the Prism of Uncertainty
Our brains have honed the unique and powerful skill of mental simulation. We can imagine almost anything, which should help us imagine ourselves in a friend’s mind. It is hard to simulate a different political view; it is easier to imitate a dissimilar level of tolerance for uncertainty.
I’m not proposing that we should all share political views. But when you understand what in your neighbor’s personality drove her to post a screed on social media, perhaps you can allow that a difference in how you each approach uncertainty is not a reason for a fight.
It doesn’t take a superpower to summon empathy and use it to help us get along better with each other. We should frame differences in terms of varying levels of tolerance for uncertainty, accept the differences, accommodate them, and turn to examining our views.
I recommend identifying how your brain is wired to respond to uncertainty — whether you plunge forward or crouch in avoidance — and how that affects your choices in critical decisions. Use that to ask yourself:
- Do I have enough information to decide not based on fear of the unknown?
- Am I not rushing too carelessly because I don’t care about risk?
Explore where you are on the anxiety spectrum. And ask yourself how the response to uncertainty could be the current beneath the surface of someone else’s actions or words.
This blog extracts and expands on concepts from Mindwandering: How Your Constant Mental Drift Can Improve Your Mood and Boost Your Creativity by Moshe Bar, Ph.D.
