Navigating Young Adulthood's Challenges With Confidence

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Despite what social media and movies might have you thinking, young adulthood is full of ups and downs. You might feel excited by all of your independence yet terrified about making the wrong decisions. You may get inspired by how open your future looks but then find yourself having stressful dreams about being unemployed and living out of your parents’ car. You might feel lonely even though you go out every weekend. And you might think you’re far behind everyone else because you don’t have a career, house, car, or long-term partner, even though you’re not sure you want any of those things right now.

Young adulthood is a time of transition. No matter what it looks like for you, you’re leaving adolescence (and all of the support that comes with it) and preparing for adulthood (and all the independence that goes with that). This transition can feel scary.

There’s a lot of uncertainty in transitions, and depending on how you handle uncertainty, it can be exhilarating or intimidating. You might even find that you vacillate along the spectrum of those emotions and feel differently every day. While it can be stressful, I want you to know that it’s normal. There’s nothing wrong with you if you find yourself enthusiastic about your future one day and in a state of panic over it the next.

Mindset Helps

How you think about young adulthood has an impact on how you navigate it. If you approach it with the mindset of “I should have everything figured out by age X,” you’ll likely feel anxious. This anxiety might cause you to jump at any job or promotion that comes your way, even if it’s not a good fit. You might overspend, so it looks like you’re keeping up with friends or what you see on social media. You might stay in an unhealthy relationship because you’re determined to get married. You may even avoid certain friends or family members, thinking they’re judging you for not being where you think you should be right now.

Now imagine that your mindset is more along the lines of “It’s not a competition; I’m learning as I go.” How might you feel then? How would you behave? You’d likely feel more confident and calm, which might make you really think through potential jobs or promotions so that you’re choosing ones that are a good fit. You’d be OK telling friends that you’d rather stay in and cook together than go out to eat since you’re trying to save money. You wouldn’t be so concerned about getting married and, instead, feel happy for your friends who are since you know your time will come. And when you attend family get-togethers, you wouldn’t sweat the questions about your job, relationships, or lifestyle quite so much.

Ways to Navigate the Waters of Young Adulthood

Here are some tips to keep in mind as you transition into the next stage of your life.

1. Know that it’s going to be tumultuous at times.

No matter how prepared, driven, motivated, or smart you are, there are going to be some serious ups and downs. Expect choppy waters and know that they’ll eventually calm down.

2. Catch yourself when you’re in the comparison trap.

The comparison trap is when we find ourselves looking at what others have or are doing, and we think we’re in a much worse spot. Practice catching it by checking in with how you feel before scrolling or hanging out with friends and then checking in while scrolling or talking. Reflect on any changes in mood and see if the comparison trap is the culprit. The more you practice noticing it, the better you’ll get at catching it as it’s happening.

3. Cultivate a healthy mindset.

Pay attention to your thoughts around expectations and where you “should” be in life right now so you can correct them. Focus instead on how everyone’s journey looks different and that there’s no single right way to move through young adulthood.

4. Find people who inspire and support you.

We are seriously impacted by the people we spend the most time with, so choose wisely. Focus on creating relationships with those who are working to improve their life and encourage you to do the same.

5. Set yourself up with good habits.

This is a great time to create some of the habits that you’ll carry into adulthood. Think of how you want to be in your 30s and 40s and reverse-engineer it a bit. If you want to be running marathons in your 30s, make running part of your routine now. If you want to be financially independent, start reading books on the topic now.

Keep in mind that I share these steps with you as someone who didn’t do most of them. I struggled through young adulthood, and yet not only did I survive, but I’m now a thriving adult with a life I absolutely love. So, as you’re working to implement some of the suggestions above, practice self-compassion. Know that you can still be wildly successful and happy even if you can’t quite get them all in place right now.