How to Deal with Con Artists and Liars

I have been lied to by so many contractors, I would not be surprised if they didn't all take the same internet course on how to swindle your customers. Luckily, there’s more than one way to take your power back.

Yelp and Google reviews offer a way to let others know about any trouble you’ve had — and to promote excellent providers you work with, which will make you feel good, and benefit those workers and the community. If you do write a negative review, it's important to keep it honest and unemotional. Just share the facts; the one star (or no star) headline really says it all. Writing a tough online review can be a healthy venting process. Alternatively, you can make a report to the Better Business Bureau or contractors licensing board in your area. You could also sue in small claims court, but is that really worth your time?

Sending a letter or email to the person who burned you can also be a form of release. If you do this, avoid threatening or name-calling so as not to escalate the negativity. Simply state your case and the reasons you see for returning your money or any other reparations you require. You may get an argument, but at least you will have a clear record of what happened if you need it later.

But here’s the best suggestion I can offer: Pay the cheater’s bill (if you're financially able to absorb it) and forget it. The arguing is just going to steal time away from you, and time is your most valuable commodity. Typically, when people are unwilling to own up to their mistakes, there’s no point in trying to force them to see it your way.

I feel that any time I spend feeling sorry for myself because someone has taken advantage of me is a waste, and that making it go away can buy my freedom back. If the contractor isn't reasonable, and you can’t have a conversation about the issue, then this is not a person you can negotiate with. Period.

If you’re not sure you’ve been dealing with a crook, consider how they’ve responded to your requests. If you told them something wasn’t right or to your liking, and they got defensive and hostile, that’s a sign that you may be dealing with a bully or a con artist. Honest people listen; they don’t get defensive. They tell you they understand and they offer to correct the problem. Not being able to listen or respond appropriately is a personality flaw in many untrustworthy people. No one likes to be cheated, but sometimes it’s better to just take the loss to protect yourself and your peace of mind.

If you can let it go, you can move on with your life. If you struggle with conflict, or if you cannot let go of negative interactions, talk to a therapist.