Fear
What's Stopping You From Making That Necessary Change?
Understand the two reasons you're holding yourself back.
Posted March 13, 2021 Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
- Fear and discomfort are often the primary factors holding us back from making a change.
- Pain is part of the process; be prepared for sacrifices and emotional struggles.
- Knowing the “why” of your life change will make the difficulties easier to endure.
Can’t get that thought out of your head?
That nagging, annoying thought, asking yourself, “But what now?” “What’s next?”
If you’ve been feeling dissatisfied with your life but you’re not sure what to do about it, this post is for you.
Before you go on though, I want to know more about your specific pain points. Let me know your thoughts here.
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As spring is coming upon us and the country is starting to open again, we’re coming alive to the possibilities of what we want our futures to look like.
With the lockdown this past year, many of us went into hibernation. We hunkered down and we put our lives on pause. Weddings were postponed, many couples held off on starting a family, and people clung to their jobs (understandably so).
But now, as we’re starting to see some shifts, people are wondering if now might actually be the right time to finally take that leap of faith.
To change careers. To go back to school. To end that relationship. To get back into the dating game. To tie the knot. To get pregnant. To move to a new location. And the list goes on.
Sound familiar?
For many of us though, there are two things blocking us more than any pandemic ever could.
What are they? Fear and discomfort.
Let me break these down.
We seek homeostasis as humans. Even if it’s ultimately unhelpful and not helping our growth, we crave comfort. It’s safe—and this is especially clung to when we’re in uncertain times.
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Thus, the idea of venturing into unknown territory where we start at Level 1 feels daunting in a major way. It’s easier to stay at a boring and unfulfilling job than to be a novice at a craft you’re passionate about. It’s less time-consuming to stay in your living situation, even though you’d like to move to a new neighborhood. It’s safer to avoid dating people who might break your heart than to be vulnerable to the possibility of love.
You get the gist. And you can see how easily we fall into this trap where we want a different and better life but we’re too darn afraid to go into unknown territory.
Does this resonate with you?
The second challenge is that we’re often not willing to experience the pain that comes with change.
Any adjustment in our lives, even though it may ultimately be for the best, will not be easy.
Pain is simply part of the process.
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Whether it’s ending a relationship, getting pregnant, or going back to school, there will be sacrifices and emotional struggles that come with the process. However, just as we get sore muscles from a tough workout—all of which makes us stronger—the same goes for creating positive change in our lives.
So, is it worth it?
That’s why we have to know the why behind our life change. When it’s painful and scary when we’re going through the transition, we have to remind ourselves why we want this life adjustment in the first place. If we can ground ourselves in this, it makes the heartache and doubts easier to endure.
The path isn’t meant to be smooth. But it is there to take you to where you want to go. Take those steps bravely and boldly.