The Best Dating App Pick-Up Lines (and the Worst)

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“You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” —A person unlikely to get a date (as quoted in Senko & Fyffe, 2010)

A well-crafted profile will only get you so far on a dating app. To make a good first impression, you also have to know what to say to get the conversation started. The right “pick-up line” can be the difference between a message that receives a reply and one that’s met with radio silence.

Pick-up lines are messages that convey interest and open the lines of communication. In a classic dating study, Kleinke and colleagues identified three types of pick-up lines from a list of common conversation openers: flippant, direct, and innocuous. Flippant pick-up lines were flirtatious and humorous. For example, “Isn’t it cold? Let’s make some body heat.” Direct pick-up lines were complimentary and often involved flattery. For instance, “You seem different. I like that.” Innocuous pick-up lines were subtle and included questions like, “Have you seen any good movies lately?”

Kleinke et al. also asked people to rate their preferences for different types of pick-up lines. Flippant pick-up lines were the least preferred of the three types, while direct and innocuous lines were preferred the most. Why do flippant pick-up lines perform so poorly? Senko and Fyffe found that people who used flippant lines were perceived as being lower in intelligence and trustworthiness than those who used direct and innocuous openings – not exactly what you want when trying to strike up a conversation.

Pick-Up Lines People Use on Dating Apps

Extending this work to dating apps, we conducted a study where we gathered and analyzed people’s messages to a prospective dating partner prior to meeting. We also followed up with them after they met to see how likely they were to go on a second date. Most people used innocuous pick-up lines to initiate contact on online dating sites and apps; for instance, one Tinder user wrote, “Oh hey :P How’s it going?” We also observed flippant and direct lines in people’s messages, albeit less frequently. As an example of a flippant line, another Tinder user opened by writing, “When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.” There were no links between the types of pick-up lines people used and their likelihood of a second date. Their opening lines might have been important for getting a date but had little role in determining what happened after they met.

In a recent study, Dai and Robbins used an experiment to test the effectiveness of different types of pick-up lines in the context of Tinder. Their results suggested that on dating apps, the pick-up lines people use may not matter if – and this is a big if – they’re attractive and possess positive attributes such as kindness, intelligence, and friendliness.

So, the next time you want to strike up a conversation on a dating app, try using an authentic opening line. Complimenting the other person or asking a question about something that stood out from their profile can be a great way to get the conversation started.

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