Back to School: Strategies for Starting Strong

Whether the challenge is getting your little one up and out the door or helping to assuage their fears, back to school can be stressful. Students can certainly bring the best of themselves to school (academic rigor, helping others, having fun, making friends) while sometimes also displaying some challenging behaviors (bullying, cheating, name-calling). Every parent wants to be able to help their children feel equipped to return to school mentally strong and able to successfully face whatever arises.

Developing the skill of practical optimism can help too. With it, children can learn to overcome obstacles, using them as stepping stones instead of stumbling blocks. They can remember their inner power and that they’re larger than any problem in the outer world—they've got this. Learning how to reframe a challenge boosts resilience and optimism. Let’s look at a few scenarios:

• Angel, age 8, is starting at a new school and feels nervous. Of course, it’s normal to feel nervous if you’ve never done something before. To help Angel transform his big worries into something manageable, I asked him: What would your best year look like? New friends? Playing soccer? Getting an e-bike? He quickly stated, “I want to be a goalie this year!” So, I helped him visualize himself as a goalie—he closed his eyes—and making new friends, which felt really good to him. Being able to meet children where they are and help them see the possible good things and positive potential in an uncertain situation teaches them how to reframe the situation—a skill they can learn with practice. (Tools: Reframe, Visualization)
• Lan is 5 and feels good entering kindergarten. But things are good and not great. Coaching Lan, I asked her: What is one thing you can do (or be/have) that will make this year great? She said, “I can learn to ride my bike!” and boom, a goal was born. Her mom, Pham, said she’s going to work with Lan to teach her to ride her bike with the goal of riding together to school this year. (Tool: One thing)
• Josh, age 10, is entering fifth grade. He’s going to miss the first few weeks of school because of leukemia treatments, which is hard for him. Josh wants to participate in everything but feels left out. To help Josh feel more connected, his teachers are planning to virtually include Josh in the first-day morning events so he can start with everyone despite this challenge. (Tool: Strong relationships). Josh said, “Whoever invented the Google Meet, I’m so grateful—it really changes my life.”

The Bright Side

Looking on the bright side isn’t necessarily easy. Wars are raging, poverty is climbing, and political campaigns are bombarding us. Children are exposed to scary things all the time, but helping them day by day to build the skill of optimism and learning to see the upside even in challenging situations will serve them their whole lives. Whether the challenge is an illness or the fear of starting at a new school, children can learn how to face stress and manage it intelligently as they move toward their best school year yet.

(Of course, this is a complex concept that is simplified here, but it’s the start of a bigger conversation!)