Your Life Is Worth So Much More Than a Phone Call

September is Suicide Prevention Month. In my community, September is a month of mental health awareness and suicide prevention initiatives ranging from a candlelight vigil to remember individuals who have died by suicide to a conference on suicide prevention. Beyond dates and events, the reason for these gatherings is heavy.

Each life lost to suicide represents a galaxy of possibilities for the future that have vanished for that person and those around them. Every story and the events/experiences of a person's life until the death and what led up to the death by suicide are unique.

Suicide, Isolation, and Hopelessness

The painful reality is that all available data suggests that suicide rates have only increased in the last several years (Martinez-Ales et al., 2024). Most concerning of all, adolescent suicide is on the rise, with suicide being the third leading cause of death for youth worldwide (Glenn et al., 2020).

Of course, there is no simple explanation. We know that hopelessness is perhaps the best predictor of suicide (Sun et al., 2022). Hope is a variable construct. When we are suffering, whether that suffering feels meaningful or not makes a significant difference to its tolerability. Is there an end to the suffering? Can we imagine a future that is more worthwhile than today?

Isolation is also a major contributing factor (Motillon-Toudic et al., 2022). Relationships are frequently what individuals find most central in their lives. When we believe that we are alone in our troubles, it becomes all the more unbearable. If we feel not only alone but also as a burden to those around us, suicide can feel like a solution. This is reflected by the interpersonal theory of suicide, which relates thwarted belongingness, perceived burdensomeness, and capability as three factors of death by suicide (Robinson et al., 2024).

In today's world, we are simultaneously more and less connected than ever. We walk around with devices in our pockets that allow us to interact with each other at almost any time, yet the quality of those interactions does not always match. Most notably, close friendships have decreased, and as many as 25% of individuals are estranged from a parent (Reczek et al., 2023). Such deficits have led the surgeon general to declare a loneliness epidemic (Harris, 2023).

Suicide Prevention and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

If hopelessness and isolation contribute to suicide, could connection and hope help prevent suicide?

Among the many strategies that have been initiated to prevent suicide is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a phone and text line where individuals can reach out at any time to talk to someone. The magic of this is that even the act of not being alone in one's pain may serve to help prevent suicide.

Two other beautiful aspects of phone support are availability and confidentiality. A counselor can be reached out to by someone in crisis in a confidential space at any time of day or night. It makes it so that almost no one is forced to be alone with thoughts of suicide.

Since its implementation in 2022, the 9-8-8 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has helped millions of individuals in crisis (Suren, 2023). Evaluation based on its integration in the state of Georgia suggests the resource has improved many aspects of crisis intervention within individual communities (Baker and Sorenson, 2024). There are, of course, still puzzles that need to be worked out, such as managing times of high call volume, fears individuals may have about reaching out to such a lifeline, and making the resource equitable to individuals across the United States. Still, its implementation marks a critical step symbolizing the seriousness with which public health systems are taking in tackling the initiative of suicide prevention.

Kindness, Connection, and Hope

This is what I have learned about hope.

When you play video games, there is sometimes a point of no return—a point where you've messed up so badly that the best thing you can do is hit "end game" and start over. We can do it as many times as we like with no problems. Life isn't like that. Even in small areas of our lives, we can't quit without impact. Yet, unlike a video game, hope in life is more flexible than any one objective.

If hope is eluding you, know there is help, and you are not alone. Life can be painful for all of us. Yet, sharing this flawed, chaotic life makes it meaningful.

There are so many things we can't do and things out of our control. Still, we have options at almost every corner. Reaching out for psychotherapy is one way to explore new avenues with another person who can hold hope with you even if you are struggling to keep ahold of it yourself.

Suicide Essential Reads

It's Important to Talk About Suicide the Right Way

Being Suicidal Doesn't Mean a Person Wants to Die

Another choice we have is that we can always be kind. Being kind means different things to different people. Sometimes, being kind is saying to someone, "Hey, how are you doing?" Sometimes kindness is a smile or any gesture that lets them know they are not alone.

We can be kind to people who seem to be struggling, and those who are thriving. We can be kind by recognizing that people do not have to earn or deserve kindness. We can be kind to ourselves. After all, we are people too. We can remind ourselves that we do not have to earn our own kindness. We can reject shame.

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, I sincerely hope you will reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day at 9-8-8. Your life is worth so much more than a phone call.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.