Is a Tough Boss a Bad Boss?

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On February 23, 2019, the front-page story in The New York Times described Minnesota senator and Democratic presidential hopeful Amy Klobuchar’s alleged horrific treatment of her staff. This story came about in the aftermath of several staff indicating that they planned to leave once she announced her plans to run for president.

One staff member was quoted as saying that Sen. Klobuchar was “not just demanding but often dehumanizing.” The purpose of this post is not to question Senator Klobuchar’s qualifications to run for president or how she treats her staff, but rather to examine the question of whether tough bosses are necessarily bad bosses and how distinctions can be made. Keep in mind: Working as a congressional aide is hard, with long hours, impossible deadlines, and expectations of being on call 24/7.

For years, I’ve asked my graduate students to think about the people in their lives who had influenced their decision to become mental health or addiction counselors. Invariably, they would cite particular teachers, coaches, parents, or siblings. However, they would also mention that these influencers were often the toughest on them — in other words, people who had high expectations of them and therefore tended to be demanding. Yet, at the same time, these students would also comment that these were people who “believed” in them, who instilled confidence, and who challenged them to aspire to high goals.

So, are tough bosses necessarily bad bosses? It appears the answer is “not always.” A tough boss can set high expectations; however, they do so by also being encouraging, supportive, and instructive. In other words, tough bosses can also be good mentors and/or good teachers. They seem to convey a spirit of “I’m tough on you, but I believe in you, therefore my job is to challenge you in order to enhance your growth as a person and/or a professional.”

Here’s an example of a tough but supportive boss: After graduating from law school, Tom had clerked for a state superior court judge. During that year, he complained incessantly that he had “never worked so hard in his life, not in law school, not studying for the bar exam…never.” Yet, at the end of his clerkship, Tom also admitted that he never learned so much or grown as a person. He also talked about the judge’s patience when he made mistakes and how she mentored him regarding the law and the intricacies of the judicial system. Several years later, Tom still calls on her for professional and legal advice.

Bad bosses, on the other hand, tend to be bullies. Rather than being instructive mentors, they tend to demean those working under them. This type of boss is unusually hypercritical and controlling. Staff often complain that they feel they are in a no-win situation and nothing they do is right. This is the type of boss described in a book I co-authored, Impossible to Please (Lavender & Cavaiola, 2012).

Not surprisingly, bad bosses usually cause high turnover rates because people get fed up with how they are treated. When working for a tough but supportive boss, there’s a sense of collaboration: Both the boss and staff member want the best possible outcome or product. Not so with a tough boss/bad boss, where nothing is ever good enough and there’s a sense that such a person is truly impossible to please.

For more on this topic, see Monica Torres’ article.