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Animal Behavior
What It Means to Love a Dog Unconditionally
Michelle Slater's new book 'Soulmate Dog' combines science and riveting stories.
Posted June 12, 2024 Reviewed by Davia Sills
Key points
- A new book takes readers gently through the messiness of grieving the loss of a beloved animal companion.
- Readers also will feel the higher-order thoughts that dogs can share with humans if they are open to them.
- It writes a new language of grief that shows how many people are illiterate about grief and true love.
Many, but not all, humans form extremely close relationships with their canine companions and will have to learn how to negotiate and balance feelings of deep, unyielding love with the trials and tribulations—the inevitable ups and downs—of falling in love and experiencing deep pain when thinking about and experiencing the loss of these extremely special dog beings.1 Thankfully, now there’s an excellent go-to guide for everyone who will go through (or has gone through) this extremely difficult cycle of life and death, namely, Dr. Michelle Slater’s Soulmate Dog. This seminal book will move people all over the world, and that is why I am so glad to have read it. It also made me think about the five love languages applied to our canine companions.
All in all, Michelle meticulously explains what to expect as you lose a dog. It is a deeply heartwarming and revealing love story of her extraordinary relationship with her animal companion, Brady, along with being a philosophical examination of the special relationship between humans and dogs and an exploration of the expanding field of modern integrative veterinary medicine. She seamlessly and gently takes readers through the messiness of grieving the loss of a beloved canine companion. Here’s what Michelle had to say about her landmark book.
Marc Bekoff: Why did you write Soulmate Dog?
Michelle Slater: I wrote Soulmate Dog because I felt the lessons that I learned from the extraordinary experiences I shared with my German shepherd companion Brady were important to share with readers. Our relationship shed light in new ways on the relationship between non-human animals and humans from a communication perspective, and his medical experiences were revolutionary for veterinary studies. Three of Brady’s veterinarians urged me to write Soulmate Dog, and I felt that I had a moral obligation to share the lessons we learned together with readers at large.
MB: How does your latest book relate to your background and general areas of interest?
MS: Soulmate Dog relates to both my academic background in animal studies and posthumanism, as well as my lifelong interests in dogs and wolves. I have written academic articles about the non-human animal and human relationship, and so in Soulmate Dog, I relied on that knowledge to construct my argument in the philosophy chapter, “But Brady is Not Just A Dog: Contending with Philosophy.” Since I was a child, I have been interested in the relationship between dogs, wolves, and humans, so I brought those interests with me as I wrote Soulmate Dog.
MB: Who do you hope to reach with your interesting and important book?
MS: I would like to reach a large swath of readers interested in a variety of fields. As I write in the preface, “This book is for anyone who has ever loved an animal or theorized about an animal’s faculties and concluded that a dog is not just a dog. It is for anyone who has experienced unparalleled love between a dog and a human. It’s a celebration of soulmate dogs.” I hope veterinarians read it—because Brady’s case of Leptospirosis, resulting in acute renal failure, and his subsequent recovery show both kidney specialists and veterinarians at large that persistence in allopathic medicine coupled with holistic treatments can save dogs that may have been considered “unsavable.”
I would also like to reach animal studies scholars and philosophers since the element of animal communication that I treat is groundbreaking when coupled with philosophical studies. I would also like to reach dog lovers at large who have confronted love and grief with their own soulmate non-human animals and who would like to go beyond communicating with non-verbal gestures; the language of dog I describe in Soulmate Dog will show them how, and I am very excited about this.
MB: What are some of the major topics you consider?
MS: There are four main subjects, and they are interwoven based on my profound relationship with Brady. I recount how I came to love a dog the way I love(d) him. Soulmate Dog shows Brady’s unique character, his ipseity, if you will; based on our observations of each other, we discovered new frontiers that we put into practice.
The four major themes in Soulmate Dog include interspecies love that examines not only what it means to have a soulmate dog but also what it means to grieve the loss of a soulmate dog, breaking the limits of allopathic and holistic veterinary medicine through the unique case of Brady’s leptospirosis journey, the groundbreaking techniques of animal communication that permitted me to discover what I’m calling “the language of dog” and to deepen my relationship with Brady, and the philosophical question of what a dog’s faculties are, and how they are far more expansive than what philosophy has ever allowed for.
MB: How does your book differ from others that are concerned with some of the same general topics?
MS: There’s a multitude of really important books about non-human animals, but I think what makes Soulmate Dog unique is that it pushes the limits of what a dog is and what it has been considered to be. I am excited to share the principles of animal communication that enabled me to converse with Brady on such a high level, partially because I have read books that end with the query to consider that animals have greater capacities without stating how or why. I have seen some books that are on the cusp of showing the extraordinary faculties of non-human animals without relying on animal communication that reveals the higher-order thoughts that a dog like Brady can share. Therefore, I am eager to share Brady’s thoughts that contribute to the innovative argument I make in the philosophy chapters.
MB: Are you hopeful that as people learn more about your life with Brady, they will treat their dogs and animals with more respect and dignity?
MS: I’m very hopeful about that. The cover of Soulmate Dog is a photo of the large-scale portrait I had commissioned of Brady, which was based on a photo of Brady sitting in a tree in our neighborhood. He liked to scamper up the tree partway, sit up tall in a large nook between two branches, and observe the activity in the park. I used this endearing image as the cover to make the statement that a dog is worthy of being the subject of a painting, which, historically, has been limited to privileged persons. I posit in Soulmate Dog that not only Brady but every animal should be treated with the utmost respect and dignity, so I hope that powerful message will resonate with readers, too.
Facebook image: DimaBerlin/Shutterstock
References
In conversation with Dr. Michelle Slater, a scholar of comparative literature and president of the Mayapple Center for the Arts and Humanities, an educational nonprofit where artists and scholars come to teach and collaborate. Michelle holds a Ph.D. in French Literature from Johns Hopkins. She also is the author of Starving to Heal in Siberia and of the forthcoming novel The Lunatic, which includes a co-protagonist who is a German shepherd.
1) Science and countless stories clearly show that it is a myth that dogs are human's best friends and that we and they are unconditional lovers.
