Dealing With Slow Processing

Source: "Close up of Holding a Clock" by Anna Shvets/Pexels. Obtained from Canva.

Many people struggle to keep up with the pace of information today. In some cases, they might be struggling with slow mental processing.

Researchers have used various terms to describe slow mental processing, such as slower processing speed. Slow mental processing can affect people with a wide range of cognitive abilities, including people who are intellectually gifted.

Psychological issues, such as depression and anxiety can also lead to slow mental processing, as well as other aspects of how people think about things, such as trouble focusing on relevant information. Additionally, circumstances such as not getting enough sleep can affect it. Slow mental processing is also common in people on the autism spectrum, particularly when it comes to recognizing emotions in others’ facial expressions.

Personality traits might also contribute to slow mental processing. In fact, it has always been part of who I am. As a child, my friends noticed that it took me longer to finish reading assignments, even though my grades on those assignments were high. That was just one example of how my slow mental processing allowed me to think deeply, which has been essential to my success at school and work.

Still, trouble with thinking fast can be frustrating, such as when people think I’m upset for giving them a pensive or confused look when I’m trying to figure out if they’re telling a joke. Slow processors are also misunderstood as ignoring people, or responding in a disingenuous way, such as saying “I’m fine” when they seem unhappy. In reality, they’re demonstrating a need for a few more moments to get their thoughts together.

In this post, I want to explore how to manage slow mental processing, whether we experience it ourselves or need to deal with others who experience it.

It’s no wonder research shows that slower processors have more trouble with stress management. What might seem seamless to someone who thinks on their toes can feel like juggling a dozen balls to a slow processor.

Early in my career as a clinical psychologist, I noticed how processing speed affected my clients, especially, though not exclusively, those on the autism spectrum. Intelligent kids who were slow processors would get frustrated if they were asked too many questions at once. At school, they answered test questions accurately, but got through only half of the exam in the allotted time. Beyond aggravations in the classroom, slow processors have trouble expressing what is upsetting them at any given moment, which leads to troubling thoughts and unresolved conflicts.

Much of the angst of slow processing comes from how people (both the slow processors and those they are interacting with) respond to it. For example, sometimes my kids get upset at me for not listening to them in the car. Typically, I’m trying to focus on the road while also thinking about what I must do that day. For slow processors, any demand to divide your attention causes difficulty.

Part of the overwhelm comes from being called out on your slow processing. When the kids complain that I’m not listening, I feel like the child who wasn’t fast enough all over again.

After working through the issues that slow processing causes for my clients and myself, I’ve found the following tips to be helpful:

1. Let others help you.

Humans aren’t meant to be entirely self-sufficient. Limitations to our time, strength, and skill set mean that we need to rely on each other for survival. It’s OK to allow others to take over the tasks they are faster at so you can get to the rest of your own to-do list.

On the other hand, if improving a particular skill is important to you, you will need the opportunity to practice it. It could be helpful to have the other person guide you.

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2. Be open with others about your slow processing.

Even a small distraction, such as your spouse asking where you put the phone charger, can be frustrating when you are deep in thought. Here, you can use a skill from Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy called “outing yourself,” which entails describing your perceptions without blaming others for what you are experiencing. In this case, you can out yourself about your slow processing.

This means telling others that you need time to process what they are saying. For example, you could say, “Sorry, I’m in the middle of something here. Give me a minute so I can give you my full attention.” This can be more effective, and cause fewer fights, than snapping “Stop distracting me!”

In addition to outing yourself, feeling frustrated about being interrupted in your thoughts might be a sign that you would benefit from taking a break. Sometimes, coming back to a task with a fresh start can enable you to complete it more efficiently.

3. Know when to be assertive.

It’s hard to assert yourself before you’ve fully understood what you need from the other person, such as a need to set a boundary with them. This is another example of why self-acceptance is important. My daughter recently told me she wanted to stand up to a peer who was playing a game unfairly, but she froze up. I told her that she could always choose to be more assertive next time. You can look at assertiveness as a process if you recognize that there will always be another opportunity. In the meantime, be willing to let go of self-criticism over what seems to be a lost opportunity.

If you are a slow processor by nature like me, you will benefit from accepting, appreciating, and effectively responding to slow processing rather than needlessly fighting against it. There are gifts that come with slower thinking, such as greater potential for creativity and in-depth analysis. When it comes to cognition, slower can also mean deeper, and this is a trait worth celebrating.