Verified by Alcoholism
How to Spot Alcohol Use Disorder in a Family Member
Here's how you can take action to help a loved one struggling with drinking.
Posted August 28, 2020 Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano
Witnessing a family member struggling with excessive drinking can be fear-inducing, heart-wrenching, and confusing—especially for those who are unsure whether their relative’s alcohol misuse is a sign of a more sinister health issue: alcohol use disorder (AUD).
When does social drinking become alcohol use disorder?
To recognize the first stages of alcohol use disorder in a loved one, families should note the indicators of alcohol abuse, a pattern of risky or excessive drinking that can compromise a person’s health and well-being. The line between social drinking and alcohol abuse is not always clear, leaving some families to wonder how they can best support their relative.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s guidelines define excessive alcohol consumption as 15 or more drinks in one week for men and 8 or more drinks in one week for women. Another factor to consider is how many drinks a person is consuming in one sitting. For male drinkers, having five drinks over the course of two hours can be risky. For women, this number is four drinks over the same period.
Additional signs of alcoholism
Some other signs to look for in a loved one’s drinking habits may include having a high tolerance for alcohol, consuming alcohol early in the day or prior to attending a social function, looking for “socially acceptable” reasons to drink, or hiding one’s drinking from family and friends. Such behaviors can lead to AUD, a chronic condition that can negatively impact one’s overall health, personality or self-image, interpersonal relationships, academic or professional obligations, and ability to find fulfillment or simply enjoy life without drinking.
One of the most decisive red flags pointing to a substance use disorder is if your family member experiences withdrawal symptoms such as nausea, hallucinations, convulsions, or even seizures in the absence of alcohol. If you notice these changes in your loved one’s physical health, you should encourage them to seek immediate medical attention.
When to seek treatment for a loved one
Those who suspect that their relative may be in the early stages of alcoholism should consult with their primary care physician, who can assess for signs of addiction and refer patients to the appropriate level of care in treatment accordingly. Having an assessment done this way allows patients to learn more about drinking and health habits without necessarily committing to treatment if they are not ready.
Most importantly, individuals and families should know that the person struggling doesn’t need to hit rock bottom before seeking assistance, as early intervention can make all the difference.
How to encourage a family member to pursue treatment
Friends and family who would like to help their loved ones pursue recovery should make it clear that they have their loved one’s best interests in mind and avoid casting judgment. Addicted individuals do not choose to develop substance use disorders, so it’s important for families to have empathy. They can educate themselves about addiction prior to approaching their relative, using web resources provided by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) or the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA).
When having this conversation, family members should focus on how their loved one’s behaviors have impacted them personally, rather than making accusations about their behavior. By keeping the discussion simple and compassionate, the other person may be more receptive to seeking professional help.
What are the next steps and options for treatment?
If your loved one decides to seek further help, attending a detox program is traditionally the first step in the recovery process, allowing them to stabilize their physical health. Attending a professional detox program is especially critical for those with alcohol use disorder, who can suffer from painful and potentially life-threatening withdrawal symptoms after quitting drinking. The detoxification process is usually followed by inpatient (residential) or outpatient treatment.
An outpatient program that is close to home and offers flexible scheduling may be best if your family member has career or family obligations. For those who would benefit from being removed from outside triggers, a residential program may be more suitable. Both options consist of individual and group therapy focused on helping people develop greater self-awareness and a deeper understanding of the factors that influenced their addiction, building and maintaining sober skills, and creating a support network.
Aside from these options, there are also sober living programs for people who’d like to be surrounded by a community with a common goal: sustained recovery. Additionally, there are recovery coaches who can offer practical advice for everyday living, often based on their personal experiences in sobriety. You can play a significant role in exploring these treatment options with your family member, ensuring they feel safe and supported.
How can treatment help those with alcohol use disorders?
While the type of programming needed varies on a case-by-case basis, your family member’s decision to address their drinking problem can make all the difference. Working with addiction professionals will give your loved one the opportunity to gain fundamental coping skills and the tools they need to live and thrive without alcohol. This includes managing stress and cravings, developing mindfulness and self-awareness, and repairing family bonds that may have become compromised during active addiction.
If you are not able to convince your loved one to attend a treatment program, don’t blame yourself. Prioritize your own self-care (this might mean participating in a support group or sharing your concerns with a therapist), and take comfort in the knowledge that you did everything within your power to help them. Only your loved one can decide if they are ready and willing to immerse themselves in the recovery process.
