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Has 2024 been a big bore or a big sore for you relationship-wise? Wondering how to make 2025 more alive in your dating hive? The dating app Plenty of Fish has unveiled its list of five dating trends for 2025. And some of them suggest that it may be time to get your freak on in more ways than one.
The makers of the app went fishing by surveying 5,274 adults in the U,S, who used the app about their dating experiences this year. Then for the eighth year, Plenty of Fish assembled a list of terms based on major trends that emerged. I spoke to Rachel DeAlto, dating expert at Plenty of Fish, about the resulting five trends that are listed here in no particular order:
1. Smutten (smuh-tin)
This trend doesn't necessarily have to do with smut, but it can, depending on what you read and watch. A third of single survey respondents have fantasized about the story lines of romantic TV shows, movies, or books becoming realities for them. "So many focused on shows like Bridgerton," explains DeAlto. "Such shows are getting attention not just on TV, not just on a streaming service, but also on social media, So people are seeing them in almost two different ways."
There's nothing wrong with fantasizing that you are a character on Amélie, Emily in Paris, The Simpsons, or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Just don't lose touch with reality, though. "It's an idealized version of a relationship," reminds DeAlto. "Focus on the healthy aspects of [fiction] rather than the toxic."
2. Yap-Trapping (yap-trap-ping)
Surely, you've never encountered one of these folks: people who talk about themselves excessively without asking you any personal questions. Well, here's a shocker, the survey found that 49% of single respondents have been on dates with or dated someone like that. Yep, imagine being on a date with someone who yaps and yaps and yaps in a self-centered way without making much effort to keep the conversation more balanced. It could make you feel a little or a lot trapped, hence "yap-trapping."
So, what if you find yourself yap-trapped? Should you grab a spoon and start tunneling your way to freedom? "Create an opportunity to redirect the conversation," DeAlto suggests. "For example, you can ask, 'What would you like to learn from me?'"
And don't necessarily write off a yap-trapper after just one encounter. "Give people a pass for the first meeting," DeAlto recommends. "Sometimes people yap trap because they are nervous or terrified of quiet in a conversation." Unless they do something so unpleasant that you go "ick."
3. StICKing (stik-ing)
Another trend is overlooking that initial “ick,” especially when it's something fairly superficial like a certain look or idiosyncrasy that doesn't have anything to do with being a good partner. DeAlto recalled someone's ick: not wanting to date a person because that person kept wearing blue shirts. Not the same blue shirt, but different shirts that were all some shade of blue. But should that practice really make you so blue?
The survey showed that 36% of daters don't view such icks as deal-breakers and have chosen to push pass them. This has given rise to the term "stICKing," sticking around despite finding an ick. "People can really grow in love," DeAlto says. "Self-awareness is the key to dating success, as gut feelings can be driven by a ridiculous ick or just a reaction. They can only be excuses to not get close or be vulnerable."
4. Freak Matching (frēk ma-ching)
Then there's sort of the opposite situation, where some characteristic or interest that may be considered weird by others may be a point of attraction. In "freak matching," you connect with someone because you have a shared quirk, eccentricity, or weirdness.
The Plenty of Fish survey found a fair number of such "see creature" situations out there, with 39% of respondents experiencing freak matching. DeAlto views the finding as part of an overall trend of people being more authentic, no longer trying to hide their freakazoidness. "It comes from being authentic," she explains. "Shifting towards this desire to be ourselves, letting people know who I am."
Of course, you may not want to show up to your first dinner date wearing your fetish boots and all-latex outfit, plopping all your maces, chains, and whips down on the table, and yelling, "This is who I am, deal with it." Appropriate moderation is key. DeAlto agrees: "Maybe it is just a drip when revealing your true self." Nevertheless, she calls the trend towards authenticity more like, "This is me and I would love it if you love me for it."
5. Grim Keeping (grim kēp-ing)
A related trend is bonding over your darker sides. This is not about Darth Vader getting Luke Skywalker to join the Dark Side of the Force. Instead, it's about 28% of survey respondents indicating that they've connected with others over shared dislikes, inspiring the term "grim keeping," which means bonding over being grim. "People can resonate more with negativity," explains DeAlto. "It's when both of you hate something." She gives the example of two people having the same big pet peeves about how others load dishwashers.
While you probably don't want to start yap-trapping or get so smutten that you have unrealistic expectations, the other three dating trends for 2025 are for the most part very positive (even though grim-keeping is about the negative). The trends highlight the fact that being yourself when dating makes it more likely to find someone who likes you for the freak you really are. And that would be freaking awesome.
