What's Best? Joint vs Shared vs Sole Child Custody

Custody of minor children is usually written up as “joint” in the divorce decree. There is usually a distinction between “legal custody,” in which parents have equal rights regarding decision-making, and “physical custody.” Physical custody arrangements include where children spend significant or equal time with each parent versus arrangements, sometimes called “sole custody,” where children primarily live with one parent, while the other parent has “visitation” rights. Shared parenting arrangements are often a source of conflict and or litigation between parents. What is in the best interests of the children?

Research comparing sole and shared custody has provided insights into various outcomes for children. Research on shared custody arrangements has found that children in these arrangements generally have better outcomes than children in sole custody arrangements:

Here are some key findings in five important areas:

• Psychological adjustment: Children in shared custody arrangements generally exhibit better psychological adjustment, including lower levels of anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems compared to children in sole custody arrangements.

Children in sole custody arrangements may experience more emotional and behavioral difficulties, possibly due to the challenges associated with adjusting to changes in family structure and reduced contact with one parent.

Some studies suggest that boys and girls may respond differently to shared custody versus sole custody arrangements. One study found that girls may benefit more from shared custody, while boys may benefit more from sole custody but findings are not universally consistent across all studies.

• Parent-Child Relationships: Children in shared custody tend to maintain stronger relationships with both parents. They often report feeling more secure and supported by having regular contact and involvement from both parents. Research supports the value of strong relationships with both parents under most circumstances.

Children in sole custody arrangements may have a closer relationship with the custodial parent but might have less contact or a more distant relationship with the non-custodial parent, which can affect their overall adjustment to the divorce, as well as long-term outcomes.

• Parental Conflict: Research has shown that parental conflict most damages children of divorce. Effective co-parenting and low levels of conflict between parents are crucial to the success of shared custody arrangements and positive outcomes for children. When parents can cooperate and communicate well, children benefit from maintaining relationships with both parents without being exposed to ongoing conflict.

High levels of parental conflict in sole custody arrangements can negatively impact children's well-being, as they may be caught in the middle of disagreements or feel pressure to choose sides. The long-term effects can be extremely challenging for your children as adults.

• Academic achievement: Research suggests that children in shared custody arrangements may perform better academically compared with those in sole custody. This could be attributed to the stability provided by maintaining relationships and routines with both parents.

Children in sole custody arrangements may face challenges that affect their academic performance, such as emotional distress or changes in family dynamics.

• Long-term Adjustment: Some studies indicate that children in shared custody arrangements have better long-term adjustment outcomes, including higher self-esteem and healthier social relationships into adolescence and adulthood.

Children in sole custody arrangements may be more vulnerable to negative long-term outcomes, such as difficulties in forming relationships or higher rates of psychological distress in adulthood.

Children in shared custody may have better mental and physical health and may be less likely to use drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. Children in shared custody may be less likely to engage in early sexual activity and teen pregnancy.

Children in shared custody may be more likely to have stable families of their own as adults.

Children in shared custody may have higher employment and earnings later in life.

How to use this information

Overall, while shared custody arrangements are generally associated with better psychological and developmental outcomes for children compared to sole custody arrangements, the quality of relationships, parenting practices, and level of parental conflict play significant roles in determining children's adjustment following divorce. Each family's situation is unique, and what works best for children can vary based on their individual needs and circumstances.

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Shared custody may not be a good fit for all families, if there is active addiction, mental illness, or abuse. While joint custody can have potential benefits for children, it can also have stronger potential negative effects from continuing parental conflict. Other studies don’t support this. Additionally, research has shown that different schedules may be appropriate for children of different ages. For example, infants and toddlers may need more frequent time with each parent to form strong bonds.

It is essential to draft a parenting agreement, or parenting plan, that is tailored to fit the ages of your children and your circumstances. (See the essentials of a parenting plan here.) A divorce coach can assist you with this task. While your parenting styles probably differ, you likely agree that you want what is best for your children. A parenting agreement that includes “frequent and continuing contact” with each parent, and a commitment to reducing parental conflict, will offer your children the gift of a safe, secure, and stable childhood post-divorce.

© Ann Gold Buscho, Ph.D. 2024