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Key points
- It is a misconception that only powerful, huge experiences of awe are life-changing and healing.
- Thanks to research, trauma and loss survivors can validate how their sense of wonder builds resilience.
- It's not just the source of awe that gives us strength, it's our ability and willingness to feel awe at all.
Our experiences of awe and wonder can come to us in many ways—as a pleasant surprise when a cardinal lands near our window, or as a life-changing realization waking up from a vivid dream. We may have encountered awe-filled moments that took our breath away and eased our loneliness or anxiety, but too often we forget about them as we forge ahead in our daily realities. Many of us might not recognize our sense of wonder as a source of strength as it’s often underappreciated, unexplored, or hidden.
As a rehabilitation counselor and educator, I’ve worked with veterans, addiction survivors, and domestic violence survivors who swore that a profound moment of awe not only changed their lives but saved their lives. I’ve heard their stories of awe: An old song suddenly blasts on the radio with a message that keeps a woman from relapsing at a vulnerable point in her recovery. A red-tailed hawk appears in the nick of time to release a grieving man from the grip of suicidal thoughts.
Validating these personal accounts, neuroscience research over the past ten years has exploded with studies on awe and mental health and, in particular, studies on the benefits of awe and wonder for people struggling with depression. More recently, a study published by the APA shows how awe can help trauma survivors through narrative integration. As a survivor myself, I’m heartened by the research on the resilience-building potential of these fascinating moments of awe in our healing.
Thanks to this research, I’ve only recently recognized how much my ability to be amazed and wowed is a true (legitimate) strength. But no one I’d known for decades had ever validated these qualities as a sign of strength, wisdom, or even maturity. If anything, being awestruck or feeling full of wonder was something akin to being gullible, naïve, or childlike. Indeed, the underappreciated emotions of awe and wonder in previous models of mental health or human development had left me baffled by my own highly wondrous nature. Like many other survivors, I was hesitant to share my moments of awe and wonder with others, keeping these beautiful, inspirational (and often spiritual) encounters very private. These experiences may have seemed too “woo,” or “out there” for casual conversation.
Now that neuroscience about awe and wonder has given us a green light to share our experiences, we can marvel together at the many ways awe-inspiring moments can heal us. Storytelling about our encounters can help us build friendships and deepen relationships as we explore our breathtaking experiences with each other.
Misconceptions about Awe and Wonder
But as we open ourselves to more moments of wonder with each other, we need to keep in mind that misconceptions about awe and wonder still prevail. Unrealistic expectations and even magical thinking might interfere with these mysterious and complex emotions. We may have high expectations in our quest for awe-filled experiences and find ourselves disappointed or underwhelmed as an outcome. We might shy away from sharing our own story of being awestruck by a rainbow, or a chickadee, or a passing stranger on the street, because we fear that our experience is just too small, too brief, or too fleeting to “qualify” as a real moment of awe.
Indeed, many of us have ideas, stereotypes, or expectations that can cause us to dismiss our own experiences of awe. But, before examining three common misconceptions about awe and wonder, I would like to clarify the differences between awe and wonder with definitions according to author and researcher Dacher Keltner.
Awe: “Awe is the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your current understanding of the world.”
Wonder: “Wonder, the mental state of openness, questioning, curiosity, and embracing mystery, arises out of experiences of awe.”
Next, I would like to discuss three common misconceptions that can cause confusion, distraction, or disappointment in our quest for awe and wonder. Hopefully, as we demystify the myths about how awe and wonder are “supposed” to help us, we will be better able (or willing) to allow these experiences to unfold and develop naturally.
MYTH 1
To be wowed, you need to count on a certain source of awe to excite you. This means that you can only feel awe in a particular way, such as, when you go on vacation to a special place, or see your totem bird, join a spiritual retreat, immerse yourself in a huge concert, or be visited by the spirit of a loved one.
REALITY
An experience of awe and wonder often comes to us as a surprise. Unexpectedly, suddenly, and fleetingly, something happens that takes your breath away—and you pause to take it in. Let’s say, you were on a walk by a lake, hoping for a “sign” from your totem bird, but suddenly a rainbow pops out of the sky and illuminates the water in glorious rays of light. Instead of feeling disappointed that your “sign” did not appear, a rainbow glow is there to enchant you.
We might be too attached to what we want to amaze us and miss (or dismiss) the other breathtaking surprises along the way.
MYTH 2
To gain the benefits of awe and wonder, you need to have a big, powerful, profound experience.
For example, you once had a powerful moment of awe at age 18 when an angel came to you in a dream, but you have never had that same level of awe later (in real life.) You compare your awe experiences and believe “nothing compares” or “it will never happen like that again.” Unfortunately, you might be missing out or dismissing the healing value of smaller, more frequent moments of awe that you can tap daily or weekly.
REALITY
Small, brief, and frequent experiences of awe and wonder, over time, offer many benefits to our well-being. We can cultivate opportunities for awe and wonder.
Neuroscience features findings that show it is the frequency of awe moments that matter, no matter how small or brief. Studies reveal how smaller daily doses of awe and wonder can provide, over time, the greatest benefits to our well-being. Taking an “awe walk” in the early morning on a regular basis can give us an opportunity to open to awe-inspiring encounters.
As poet Mary Oliver beckons us in her poem, “The Ponds,” when stepping out into the morning: “What I want in life is to be willing to be dazzled.”
You can welcome awe and wonder moments with your willingness to be dazzled.
MYTH 3
You need to be in a calm, clear state of mind to have an experience of awe.
Many of us believe that if we are upset, ruminating, worried, or overthinking, then we will not be able to have a moment of awe and wonder.
REALITY
Sudden, unexpected moments often do happen to people who are struggling through grief and trauma. Surprising experiences of awe quickly switch our attention outward and out of the grip of our self-referential thinking. Ethan Kross, a psychologist at the University of Michigan states in a BBC article, “When you are in the presence of something vast and indescribable, you feel smaller, and so does your negative chatter.”
Unexpectedly, something amazing or astonishing captures our attention and we stop whatever we were doing or thinking—a strong burst of thunder, our cat leaps into our room, a beloved old song comes on the radio. These moments grab us and unlock us from our rampant thoughts and crowded screens. And somehow, a whole day’s worth of worry stops, as if we were “saved by the bell” of a moment of awe.
Conclusion
I would like to highlight that most of our misconceptions about awe and wonder stem from a common belief that these emotions are not true strengths within us. But neuroscience research reveals that our sense of wonder is a vital strength that allows us to heal and transform our lives. In short, it’s not simply your wondrous totem bird that changes your life—it is your openness and willingness to feel a moment of awe that changes your life.
On a personal note, I will add that two years ago, I’d started a book about my awe-inspiring encounters with blue herons and how these majestic birds had helped me heal from trauma and loss. But one day, gazing through my window at maple trees sparkling in a burst of sunshine after a spring shower, I had an epiphany—a moment of awe in its own right. I realized it was my sense of wonder that had kept me going strong, not just those beautiful herons. It was my “willingness to be dazzled” by the beauty of nature, of music, of art, of real-life heroes, of many wondrous things that gave me the will to survive and move forward,
It is our ability to be wowed—not only the thing that wows us—that we can claim as a source of strength.
