15 Insights About Human Behavior

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My life's work is to try to improve the mental health of others. As times goes by I discover more about the richness of the human mind. Years of deeply honest conversations have brought wisdom for more conversations. These 15 simple insights are just some of the many that have been revealed to me over time.

1. Truth is an elusive concept. It varies from person to person, across different circumstances and over time. It might not be constant or reliable. The picture and the narrative are often different when you look at the same story through different lenses.
2. A psychiatric diagnosis is just one way of interpreting actions, behavior, and emotions. What looks to a psychiatrically trained eye to be psychopathology can be constructed or understood differently – sometimes critically, but often with compassion, insight, and a deep understanding of the complexity of the human experience.
3. But sometimes psychopathology is the most helpful way of understanding someone’s behavior and emotions, and treating that mental illness can be the most humane, ethical, and effective way of relieving their distress.
4. Most things, including other people, are not simply good or bad. They are a complicated mix of both. There are psychological theories, particularly in the psychodynamic and object relations paradigms, that can help to make sense of the ways in which people often try to separate and polarize good from bad.
5. No one is spared from suffering. Even the most powerful, positive, and impressive people struggle with something.
6. There is more than one way to interpret human behavior. There are competing and conflicting theories, labels, and interpretations. The experts are not always in agreement about which way of understanding and treating mental distress is superior. Evidence-based knowledge is considered to be the most reliable.
7. Love, connection, belonging, and attachment with others are all vital to being alive and a feeling of well-being. At the same time, and arguably just as important, are the processes of independence, separation and being able to let go of a loved one under the right circumstances.
8. You can over-focus, become over-involved, and emotionally smother someone, causing them suffocating distress. Allowing others (including your own children) to find their own way and walk the journey of their choice can be just what they need to thrive.
9. To live a satisfying, enriching life, you need to find meaning and purpose. This can be difficult if you are suffering from mental illness, anxiety, and/or depression. It can also be hard to do if you are under the control of any kind of addiction.
10. Childhood experiences can significantly influence your adult life. Early traumas or nurturing environments can leave lasting imprints on mental and emotional well-being.
11. You are not always limited or compromised by adverse early experiences. Some people who had a troubled childhood go on to lead productive, healthy, and positive lives.
12. An individual is born into and embedded in a cultural context – involving history, geography, politics, community, ideology, family relations, expectations, beliefs, values and so many other factors. An anthropological lens can be extremely helpful when trying to understand someone’s mental state and related behavior.
13. Effective communication is vital in all aspects of life.
14. Vulnerability, modesty, and humility are crucial as a balance to empowerment, self-esteem, and a solid belief in one’s own value as a human being.
15. The power of resilience can be surprising. But it can be elusive and some people can sometimes feel that they do not have enough to make their lives tolerable. The challenge at times like this is for others who feel stronger to step in and reach out. The person in despair might then see that the essential goodness of humanity still exists and so it’s worth giving this life another chance.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.